Miss Scarlet brings in the New Year with How To Turn a Straight Guy Gay by Lou-La!

I still participate in the ancient art of fic diving. I know, I know, it can be archaic but its like an untapped resource. So I tapped away and found exactly what I was looking for. How To Turn A Straight Guy Gay by Lou-La reeled me in from the get-go. Jasper is a gay man that has a penchant for turning straight guys. He literally loves them then leaves them. His friend Emmett offer him a challenge that he can’t refuse. Enter Edward Cullen a very straight man that he is determined to conquer. The only kink in Jasper’s plan is that Edward has gotten the heads up on Jasper’s game. One would think this would deter Jasper but it just fuels the fire.

He nods. "Nice to meet you, Jasper. How did Emmett take the news?"

"That he won't be fucking either of us?" I ask. Admittedly, I just do it to make sure he has the appropriate reaction. I'm not disappointed, he cringes and looks like he might gag. He nods again to answer my question. "He's a bit upset, but I'm sure he'll get over it."

"He's still staring over here," he says.

I take a draw from my bottle and swish it around while I look over my shoulder to see Emmett staring. Yes, that fucker definitely has a plan. "He's a bit obsessed with me," I admit. "It's really quite sad and pathetic. What's your name?" I ask. It's a bad transition, but I'm curious and I don't usually beat around the bush.

"Edward."

Edward. Huh, kind of fitting. 'Edward' sounds kind of manly, rugged. I could definitely see myself moaning the name Edward at the top of my lungs until my throat was raw. Hmm.

"Nice to meet you, Edward," I say, offering him my hand over the table.

He's staring at me dubiously. He offers his own hand slowly and grips mine firmly, shaking once then pulling me closer to him over the table.

I get an instant erection from his bold move, though it's really stupid because I know it's entirely too soon for a straight boy to be making advances. It's still hot.

He doesn't kiss me, or lick my neck, or even touch my hair, but he steals my bottle of beer and gives me his own.

"I don't trust you, Jasper," he says.

I quirk an eyebrow and try to calm my breathing. "You shouldn't," I admit. I take a deep swallow out of the bottle he has traded me and he does the same.

Edward is a cocky asshole, there’s no two ways about it, but he’s a charming cocky asshole. Jasper is all manly on the outside at first but by Chapter 2 he’s already squeeing like a teenage girl over getting a text from Edward. They develop a friendship but don’t be fooled that Jasper has given up. Like a true player, he puts Edward off from hanging out, setting it up so that he’s in control.

"Do you need a hug?" I ask jokingly, mostly.

He actually sort of smiles. "See, you're the girl."

"Fine then, I'm the girl, but you're the one who is being all woe is me, hug me please, emo bitch-like."

He shifts his weight in a sort of nervous manner which makes me plan to back off. "I didn't ask for a hug," he states defensively.

"No, but you look like you need one. Besides, lawyers need hugs too, that shit ain't sunshine and rainbows," I say gravely.

He snorts, he actually fucking snorts before he laughs. I hate that it sort of makes me tingle with excitement to know that I made him do that. I made him smile and laugh and snort like a total fucking dweeb—an incredibly adorable dweeb, at that.

"Okay, fuck this, I'm hugging you," I say and step forward, giving him this epically awkward man-hug with my ass jutted out and away from him like I'm afraid his bulge might give me cooties or something. "There, hugged it out. Feel better now?" I ask, after I hurriedly stepped away.

"That was the shittiest fucking hug I've ever had," he says back, shaking his head.

Here’s where I’m going to tell you what I love about this story. First, a gay guy purposely going after straight men seems cruel and maybe brings up some issues Jasper may have. With that said it makes the chase all the better. I’m not going to lie at first I was wondering how Lou_la was going to pull this off without Jasper looking like a complete dick. The truth is neither of them can come out of this unscathed. Which brings me to my second reason: it’s real. Although old in Jasper’s POV, Edward’s struggle is palpable. He’s a straight man that fell in love with his best friend. Simple and complex as that. I love hearing Jasper’s thoughts, they range from sweet to angry, funny to sad. In my opinion, he’s at his best though when he’s sassy. If I could list all the lines I loved we’d be here all day.

As I read the story I kept wondering if anyone found it controversial or if anyone was insulted by what Jasper was doing and also that Edward falls in love with him. We all know there is a great debate in regards to homosexuals about nature vs. nurture. But what happens when you fall in love with an individual of the same sex but have no interest in anyone else of the same sex? It brings up so many questions and I love that. No matter what your opinion (I personally believe you can fall in love with anyone) this story shows the very real difficulties any relationship has.

That's when I realize that I'm kneeling before him, digging in my pocket. I nearly laugh, he thinks I'm going to propose.

I look back down, pretending to hesitate as I search my pocket. I clear my throat, using his tactic by looking up at him through my lashes. His eyes search mine, his mouth still hanging open. I swear to God I can hear his heart hammering in his chest, see it pounding in his throat.

"Jasper," he whispers hoarsely.

It makes me feel a little bad for teasing him to see him so choked up over this. But I'm a bastard so I draw it out a little more.

"Edward, I love you so much," I say, turning my head into his leg to kiss the inside of his denim-covered knee.

"I love you too," he rasps.

I finally produce the sheet of paper and he releases a loud breath, staring at my hand. He blinks several times, a small dimple of confusion forming between his eyebrows.

"What is that?" he asks.

"An address," I tell him.

"What?" he asks suspiciously. "An address for what?"

"Someone important," I say, kissing up his leg, climbing into his lap to straddle him and hold him down, just in case.

"I thought you were asking me to marry you," he whispers sadly, disappointedly, angrily.

"I know," I reply, trying not to laugh.

"You're a fucking asshole," he groans, realizing that I did that on purpose—partially at least.

"I know," I chuckle, kissing his jaw. "Just out of curiosity, what would you have said?"

Jasper and Edward change so much through out the course of the story and they mess up a lot but they manage to work past each hurdle. Lou-La has weaved an amazing story of love, trust and finding out who you really are.

Miss Scarlet: How did you get started with FF, both reading and writing?

Lou-La: I started reading fanfiction after I googled something Twilight related and found a story posted on FFn. I've always been a bit of a 'writer'. When I was about 8, I would write my family little stories and give them as gifts. So, being obsessed with the Twilight series, finding out about fanfiction, and already being into story telling, it just seemed natural to give it a try.

Miss Scarlet: What character from the book do you identify with the most?

Lou-La: Probably Jasper. In canon, he comes across as somewhat of an outcast.

Miss Scarlet: What inspired you to write How To Turn A Straight Guy Gay?

Lou-La: My beta and fic-BFF, Strae. I'd been wanting to give slash pairings a try, and she encouraged me to do it and prompted the story.

Miss Scarlet: Which character do find is the easiest to work with when you write?

Lou-La: I write a lot of different characters and pairings. I generally don't find one easier to write than the other. When I used to write het pairings, I preferred Edward's POV. I think I just like pretending I'm a boy?

Miss Scarlet: Who are your favorite non-cannon pairing?

Lou-La: Any slash pairing, really. I don't necessarily have a favorite pairing, but I do firmly believe that Carlisle/Edward is canon, and I often call them my OTP (one true pairing.)

Miss Scarlet: There are a lot of clichés written in fan fiction, which is your biggest pet peeve?

Lou-La: Probably the whole spark thing when characters touch. I find it hilarious that these characters seem to be electrically charged and every time they touch, there's a shock akin to one created by a static current.

Miss Scarlet: If you could beat the shit out of one Twilight character, from the book or movie, who would it be? How would you do it and why?

Lou-La: Just one? Darn. I guess I would have to pick Bella, because I find her annoying and fickle. How would I do it? Well... *rubs hands together* First I would probably pull her hair, because it's not a fight until someone's hair is pulled. Then I would throw her skinny ass on the ground and get my gangster on with some gut kicking.

Miss Scarlet: Every writer has their own process. What helps you to get the story out? Do you use an outline or just let the story tell itself?

Lou-La: I need quiet and no distractions. I also have to be in my 'writing mood.' I don't really outline a story, I plan ahead a bit in my head, but otherwise I just go with the flow. Mostly I just have to be in the right frame on mind and it all shapes itself.

Miss Scarlet: The twific fandom seems to be going through a fair amount of drama these days, how do you feel about the fandom as a whole?

Lou-La: It gets old, to be honest. I'm not into drama. I've learned who I can trust and I stick with them. But I also have to say that I feel it is one of the best fandoms around in terms of being charitable. The amount of awareness and money raised for good causes brings me a little bit of hope for our world.

Miss Scarlet: What's your favorite curse word?

Lou-La: Fuck, that's a really fucking hard question. Do I really fucking have to choose?

Miss Scarlet: Which fanfic story do you wish you had written?

Lou-La: I can't really think of a story that I wish I had written. I do know that if I could write like anyone in the fandom, it would be AngstGoddess003 (but then, who doesn't wish they could write like her?)

Miss Scarlet: What advice would you give to a new author wanting to write fan fiction?

Lou-La: You can't please everyone, and it's important to remember that. Do it for yourself, do what feels right to you, and brush off the comments from people who don't like it. At the end of the day, the story is yours, not theirs.

Miss Scarlet: What are your top five favorite stories?

Lou-La: In no particular order:

Science is an Art Form, which is still listed anonymously with intheclosetcontest, but was announced as written by AngstGoddess003.

What Matters, by Strae.

Say Something Else, by vampireisthenewblack.

Seventeen Men, by Conversed.

College Ruled, by Allryans.

Miss Scarlet: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Lou-La: “It was a tough call, but in the end, we ultimately decided you are needed here.”

Miss Scarlet: Is there anything you’d like to add?

Lou-La: Yes, sure. I'd love to thank everyone who has taken the time to read and review anything I've written. I do really appreciate each and every read. <3

Professor Plum reads Dear Mr. Masen from Jendonna!

Well here we are boys and girls... for the last time this year, I’ll be hopefully providing you with a rec for a fic that will continue on it to the next year.

So I’ve come to terms with the fact that a have a voyeuristic side to me and discovering this story on twitter has given me my fix. While it is only five chapters in, Dear Mr.Masen, is definitely a must read.

Isabella Swan is an IT specialist who monitors company emails and issues warnings to those using company computers for personal business during business hours. However, her email to a Mr.Masen leads to an interesting conversation and to a new budding friendship. Mr. Masen is the company’s Chief Financial Officer and finds the email interesting considering his title. The emails begin and are the format for the first four chapters with each chapter covering several days of back and forth messages. This is quickly becoming one of my new favorite stories and I cannot wait to see what happens when they finally meet face to face.

Here’s a little excerpt:

From: Isabella Swan ISwan (at) culleninc (dot) com
To: Edward Masen EMasen (at) culleninc (dot) com
Date: Wednesday, June 2, 2010 at 1:26 PM
Subject: Internet Usage
Dear Mr. Masen,
You logged one hour and fourteen minutes of unauthorized Internet usage on May 28, 2010. As per company policy, only work related websites should be visited between the hours of 8:00am and 6:00pm. Please note this section from the company handbook, page 13.5:
While use of the computer, e-mail and Internet is intended for job-related activities, incidental and occasional brief personal use is permitted within reasonable limits, so long as it does not interfere with the employee's work.
The company specifically prohibits the use of computers (including Internet access) and the e-mail system in ways that are disruptive, offensive to others or harmful to morale, including sexually explicit messages, images and cartoons, ethnic slurs, racial comments, off-color jokes or anything that could be construed as harassment or shows disrespect for others, defames or slanders others, or otherwise harms another person or business.
Employees may not access the Internet to log onto any Web sites that contain any such material, including any pornographic Web site, or any Web site that contains any discriminatory message, or disparages any group. Employees may not use computers or the e-mail system for commercial messages of any kind or for messages of a religious or political nature, chain letters, solicitations, gambling or other inappropriate usage. E-mail and Internet access should be used in such a way that all transmissions, whether internal or external, are accurate, appropriate, ethical and lawful.
Your adherence to company policy in the future would be greatly appreciated.
By the way, the recipe you looked up on the Food Network website is terrible. Substitute oregano for basil, use a medium shallot instead of yellow onion, and omit the pepper jack completely and it will be much better.
Isabella Swan
IT Specialist
Cullen, Inc.

From: Edward Masen
To: Isabella Swan
Date: Wednesday, June 2, 2010 at 1:47 PM
Subject: In my defense...
Dear Ms. Swan,
(or should that be Rachael Ray?)
I worked at least 1 hour and 14 minutes of overtime on May 28, 2010. Surely my dedication to this job offsets any "unauthorized" web usage. Not to mention - and I say this as modestly as possible - I am the Chief Financial Officer of the company. I recall staying in the office until at least 8:30pm, which is why I didn't end up trying the recipe until the following day.
Speaking of said recipe - how do I know your substitutions can be trusted?
Edward Masen
Chief Financial Officer
Cullen, Inc.

It is beyond fun to read and I anxiously await each update so make sure you go check it out. It will make time fly while waiting to ring in the New Year. Also, make sure you check out the Dear Mr. Masen blog and the authors’ twitter accounts for updates and goodies from this story. Sorry this rec is shorter than usual but it’s been hectic with all the holiday events. I hope you all had an amazing Christmas and a Happy and Healthy New Year!! See you in 2011.

Dear Mr. Masen Blog
Jenndema Twitter
Belladonna's Twitter

PS: My partners and I are going AWOL in January but we have some goodies planned for the month. Make sure you stop by and check out some of our Guest Authors sharing their must reads. Authors include Buhbee’sGirl-author of True Love’s Way, BellaSunshine- author of A Thousand Leaves, TwistedCoincidence- author of Paper Cutouts and many many more.

Lots of Love!!

Mr. Green stands Beside Still Waters by AmyZini!

He’s back ladies. . . Try and tell me you didn’t fukking miss me. You thought of me while you sat by your Green Christmas Tree and opened your presents wrapped in Green paper, didn’t you? Maybe you especially thought of me when you were underneath the Green Mistletoe? *Smirks* Well a guy can fukking hope but you know what they say about hoping. You can hope in one hand and shit in the other, guess which one fills up first? Maybe that’s wishin? I might be mistaken, who the fukke knows. I had myself an epic Christmas and I’m looking forward to one helluva party for New Year’s but first I’ve got a review for a story I’ve found very recently that will tide you over until the next lucky lady gets the pleasure of my tongue. I always look forward to my chats with the lovely ladies but even a fukking suave debonair as myself needs a fukking break. Let me know if you’d like me to fukking chat you up though. I’m easy to find *Wink*. Those can be your instructions for this week. Maybe it will be you Mr. Green is sharing his fukking tongue and a cup of Green Tea with soon . . . a girl can “hope” I’m sure.

With only seven chapters posted, Beside Still Waters by AmyZini has grabbed a fukking hold of me and won’t let go. I’m jonesing for the next update and hopefully after you read this you will be too. Leave the author some fukking love; after all they do it for free so that’s the least we can do.

I’m finding this story unique already. What’s so fukking unique about it? It’s not all fairy tales and rainbows; its real life and real sometimes ain’t fukking pretty. Take the way our dashing Edward and fair Bella meet. Not normal but at the same time it gives a small show that the author can do canon Twilight really well.

I'd noticed her horsing around with a circle of friends on the cliffs at La Push beach for the better part of an hour. She was the only girl in the group, but didn't seem at all intimidated by the escalating rowdiness. When the yelling started, I began to pay closer attention. They seemed to be egging each other on, and I watched as one boy after another took a running leap off the cliff to the catcalls and laughter of his friends. Emerging triumphant from the water, he would rejoin the group to watch the next person go. Eventually, the only one that hadn't jumped was the girl, and for a moment it seemed like she would back down. I could hear bits of indistinct banter coupled with words of encouragement, and she suddenly squared her shoulders and walked to the edge. She hesitated a long moment, then looked back, before straightening and launching herself over the side. Someone called out "Swan dive, baby!" and I heard a large splash as I watched her enter the ocean.

Have you ever fukking thought that telling a story from more than one POV gives too much detail? Personally when I fukking read a story, the more building of the tension and mystery drives me to want to continue to read it. If it’s all laid out there plain as day, what’s the fun in reading it? Beside Still Waters is all in first person, Bella POV and past tense so far. Bella tells the story without giving it all away; her immediate actions, creative flashbacks and dreams filled with anxiety bordering on loss of sanity.

The misting rain filters the autumn light, causing uneven shadows on the ground. My friends and I run through the piles of leaves in Mrs. Gallagher's yard, scattering them as we laugh, only a little afraid of getting caught. In the distance I can hear my mother calling me, but I ignore her and keep running. I'm not ready to go home yet…

When we reach the park, we argue over who gets to use the swing set first. I win, and Jacob and Embry take turns pushing me higher, higher, I can almost see…hey, come back, you can't go where I can't see you. Here, get on the merry-go-round. Hang on tight, honey. Let me know if you get dizzy and we'll stop, ok? …Gracie…? …Don't fall!

I throw myself into the murky water, frantically looking for any sign of her along the bottom. I know she's down here, somewhere, among the seaweed and muck…

Where is she?

I'm trying to stay calm but the force of the current is pulling me away. I fight against the crush of the water, the weight of my fear…

I'm surrounded by black.

Suddenly I feel her, tethered to the ocean floor, and I pull with everything I have, over and over, until abruptly she breaks free. She is so heavy, just dead weight; I'm not sure I can do this…

I struggle to force us to the surface, finally breaking through to see Edward silhouetted on the deck of a boat. Overwhelmed with relief, I lift her over my head with the last of my strength and into her father's waiting arms.

As I'm slowly swallowed by the water, I glimpse him briefly cradle her, before he looks down at me—then with a tender smile he hurls her small body back into the depths.

I scream but nothing comes out—instead my mouth fills with salt water and I gag. Invisible hands reach out and grab me, tightening their hold as they chant my name.

Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella…

The author is in no fukking hurry to rush things along either; I’m sure everyone wants her to resolve the tension and get to the bumping of uglies or even explain what the fukke happened to Edward all those years ago. I’ve quickly become addicted to the characters; while some show glimpses of the real Twilight, others are completely her creations. It’s an equal mixture of both and equally enjoyable.

When this story is fukking heavy, its fukking heavy but when the light, easy going, wonderfulness comes into play its fukking awesome. Just goes to show you that a talented writer can get away with hurt, angst, comfort and a little bit of fukking humor. One minute AmyZini will have you all serious and the next you will be sitting next to Mr. Green fukking laughing your ass off.

Jasper appeared in no hurry to continue the story. He re-crossed his legs and took another contented sip, smiling benevolently for a long moment. I was confused at his sudden reticence until I again glanced at Edward. He was frozen in place, mortification evident in every line of his body. And his friend was enjoying every minute of it.

"Hmmm, where was I…oh yes, the lovely giraffes. So, at that time we had several young ones, just coming into full maturity. Four males, but only two females. Now typically the females prefer the older, more dominant males, but one of the girls had refused the overtures of every male who'd attempted courtship. We needed to make sure she was healthy, so earlier in the day we'd separated her from the herd so she could be sedated and examined. This was the girl I needed to check on before I could help Edward find his way around."

"Now, I must admit to a lapse in judgment. I should never have let him into the enclosure with me. I feel very badly about that, because I fear Edward no longer enjoys these magnificent creatures in the manner he did before. Sadly, he feels compelled to admire them only from afar…preferably as far away as possible."

"Did you know, Bella, that animal tranquilizers can have a similar effect as alcohol does on people? Relaxes you of course, perhaps lowers your inhibitions…and makes people who might not otherwise interest us look appealing. If giraffes liked to party, Xylazine would probably be their inebriant of choice."

Throughout this, Edward had been shaking his head and rolling his eyes. I thought I caught the occasional asshole, but couldn't be sure.

Plenty of time to jump into this one ladies. It’s just getting good and I predict it will get better. I definitely will be continuing to read this and I know you all will fukking check it out. *Winks* Tell next time. Keep it Green.

Mrs. Peacock brings you something New and Fresh!

We’re going to do something different today. Hold on to your hats, kids, because the fic I’m going to rec isn’t a Twilight fan fic. Today, we’re going to be testing out my new segment, which isn’t even titled yet. Here lately, I’ve been noticing more and more of my fanfic friends seeking out other fandoms-True Blood, TVD, SPN, you get my drift. I’m one of them. So what I’ll be doing from now on is spending my day giving you something out of the Twilight fandom, something new to wet your whistle. If you like this idea, and even have ideas for fics I could use, please comment and let us know!! Your feedback is important today.

The story I’m rec’ing today is actually from The Vampire Diaries fandom. The thing about TVD fics is that they come in two forms: Show and Book. Myself, I prefer the show fics, because the books were a little out there for my taste. But I’m not opposed completely. And this fic is especially good for people who watch the show and are interested in dabbling with fanfic, because it follows the show, only changes aspects that I personally would have preferred. It’s titled One Kiss by mayghaen17, and it follows the most recent Season of TVD (that’s The Vampire Diaries for those of you unfamiliar). This story is Damon/Elena-yum. Don’t get me wrong, I dig Stefan. But Damon? Full of win. So when I came across this story, I fell in love. She takes the season, keeps the events in place, but just…makes things happen like they should have, IMO.

This particular little bit comes from the episode where Damon shows up drunk at Elena’s house and attempts to kiss her. In the show she pushes him away, mayhem ensues, blah blah blah. This is much better:

Damon's hands moved up until they were lost in the soft, free-flowing curls of her hair. He could feel her resistance and it was fading quickly. He pressed himself against her a little more and groaned in satisfaction as her lips parted to let a gasp of surprise escape. Elena quickly realized that nothing was going to be able to stop her from giving in and kissing him back. The moment his tongue swept across hers, she felt a shudder of intense pleasure throughout her entire body. All the emotions towards him that she had been trying so hard to keep hidden came rushing to the surface.

That’s what should’ve happened. And so the story continues; we meet up with Klaus, Katherine plays super-bitch, tomb lockage ensues, you get the drift. But the whole time, Damon and Elena are playing this tug and pull game of emotion, and the author writes it beautifully. This story has actually made me tingle, and kind of cry. Granted the tears are mostly those of ‘thank GOD that happened here, because the show was such a disappointment’ but at least I know I have this story to look forward to when the show lets me down every week (and by letdown I mean that in the best way possible.) I’ll give you one more little taste, before I leave you to absorb the segment:

Elena took a series of deep breaths as she gazed into his piercing blue eyes. She knew that if she didn't tell him now, she never would. The last thing she wanted was to never get the chance to tell him how she really felt. In a twisted way, she would be no better than Katherine. With one last deep breath, Elena's lips parted to whisper, "I love you too, Damon."

While the words sank in, Damon's lips crashed down on hers. He moved forward until she was pinned between his body and the exterior of the house. She kissed him back with frenzied kisses, both of them hungry for one another. She jumped slightly as he lifted her legs, enabling her to wrap them around his waist. Her hands dove into his hair while his dug into her side. For the first time, kissing him felt right. She felt whole, like she had found her other half. No longer did it feel like a stolen kiss that would make her just like Katherine. This was real. It was an expression of love; something they both needed.

He trailed his kisses to her ear as his hands slid up her shirt, running up and down her smooth skin. "Say it again," he whispered.

Mrs. White meets the Drift with deverpopcorn!

**Keep it down in there!!!**

Sorry about that, I've got the elves, I mean kids, working hard in the kitchen. You know, baking dozens and dozens of cookies. I need something to tempt all those single daddies at the school Christmas party. I knew there was a reason I had so many kids... You know, if you stick fake pointy ears and little hats and shoes on them, the kids look just elves. Anyhow, you know how sometimes you stumble across something so good, you just KNOW it's too good to be true? Well, that's what happened to me recently. Luckily, it's totally true, and so incredible... It was like an early Christmas present just for me!

Drift by denverpopcorn is the story of Edward and Bella. Now I know, every story I rec is a story about Edward and Bella, but this one...it just owned me from the very beginning. When we meet them, Edward has convinced himself that the relationship is over. But why, you ask? That's a good question, and the way the story unravels is amazing. Seen in a mix of flash backs, memories, and present day events, the story of Edward and Bella reveals two people in need of honesty, answers, and acceptance. When a blizzard shuts down the entire city, will they be able to find a way to fix what is broken between them, or will secrets tear apart any hopes for their future?

The way Drift is written is so beautiful. As I read it, I was caught up in how each word is like a piece of a puzzle, crafted to fit with the next in a perfect arrangement. I've only read a few stories like that, and the talent it must take to create something of this nature is astounding. I love the emotion that is expressed in this story. I love the heartbreak that is detailed. I love the frustration that is felt by the characters. Edward and Bella are a perfect fit for each other, if only they could get past their weaknesses and just be open with one another.

The story is so wonderful. I can't wait to see how denverpopcorn will finish it off, because it is, in fact, almost finished. Do yourself a favor this holiday season. Take a few moments to sit down with Drift. You won't be sorry, take it from me.

Now, if you'll excuse me...these unicorn shaped cookies will never get frosted to my satisfaction unless I'm in there cracking the whip at those elves...I mean, kids. Hmmmm, Neighbor Guy does like it when the whip comes out... Maybe he'll feel like coming over for a little holiday cheer later tonight...

**Get out the sprinkles! I want these unicorns to sparkle like a New Moon Edward in the sun!!!**

**********

"Your friend seems nice," Edward says, putting an arm on the back of her stool. His black button-up is rolled at the sleeves and his arm, sinewy and aggressive with muscle and hair, makes her blush.

"Did you lose your ride?"

"Yeah. It's okay. I don't have anywhere to be."

"Oh, no?" He frowns with a little smile. She cocks her head, about to ask what has him bothered, when their shots are placed in front of them, followed by two rock glasses of ice water.

"Oh, I didn't order…"

"It goes down better that way. Mike knows how I take it. You'll like it. Add a little water to it or an ice cube. It will help smooth it out."

Bella watches his finger fish out an ice cube from his glass and plunk it into her whiskey. It's no less familiar than having him cut her steak.

Angling his long torso over her slight frame, he brings his glass up for a toast.

"Cheers," she pipes, recognizing the gesture coming toward her.

"Nostrovia." And he drinks half of the whiskey before setting it down. The remainder is to be nursed slowly, enjoyed sip by sip.

The drink does go down smoothly. So smoothly, she drinks half as well. The fire inside blooms and takes charge.

"You're right," she laughs, breathless and newly spirited. The whiskey works its hands on her tense muscles.

"What does 'nostrovia' mean?" His eyes are engaging and she talks right into them. It's her defense against staring at his lips.

"It means, to good health. It's Polish or Czech, I'm never sure."

And the conversation flows.

She finds out he's a travel writer for a magazine she overlooks at airports, hidden at the bottom of the shelves. His job sends him on mountain-climbing expeditions and impressive outdoor adventures. He's excited about a new assignment and speaks to her like someone pulled tape away from his mouth.

He's making her laugh, and play with her hair, and fidget with her lip.

His life is fascinating, she thinks, like hers used to be. He asks her questions about it. She digs for her best, thrilling stories in boxes long since stuffed away, in dusty photo albums deteriorating in storage.

Internally, she marvels at the girl she used to be. Her stories are old and faded, and when she falters walking through them, his voice loops around her, bringing her back into their moment.

She barely keeps up, getting distracted by his mannerisms, his long limbs gesticulating in emphasis, his body circling around and above her, closer.

Every movement orbits nearer until his legs are open, and she's laughing, and her body enters his sphere of influence.

They have gone through a lot of whiskey.

"Bella." He tugs on her shirt. "I like that name. Bella." He takes another sip, staring at her, and saying her name like it's the first time he's tasting it.

He's asking the one thing she fails to remember.

"I come with baggage," she blurts out in haste and sorrow, cradling her head in her hand, watching for his reaction.

His eyes move to her left hand. It dawns on her that she's forgotten and her stomach is a cage of hummingbirds.

"Then lose it," he says quietly. She almost doesn't hear, but when she does, the cage opens.

He smiles at her parted lips - a little pocket for his lustful gaze.

She slips off the gold band, tucking it into her back pocket.

He'll never see it again.

Mrs. White: Hey denverpopcorn, thanks for meeting me at this ski lodge. It's way too cold to be outside today.

denverpopcorn: It's freezing!

MW: I know!

DP: And thanks for having me.

MW: You're totally welcome. I figured you'd enjoy all the hottie snow boarders on this mountain. Plus I need a wingman so that I don't look so stalkerish sitting here watching them.

DP: Ooh. I'll be your wingman.

MW: Sounds like a plan. Say, you want something to drink? I ordered us some hot chocolates, WITH rum, but you know they never add enough. Lucky for us, I never leave home without my trusty flask of liquor!

DP: Wow. I have my flask, too. Diamond encrusted, no less. Cheers!

MW: Ohhhhh, so pretty. So, how did you get started in fan fic?

DP: The official story is that I hit my head when I tripped on a copy of Twilight. Somehow, in my concussion, I started reading. I'm sticking with my original story.

MW: Yeah, it's always best to go with the original story. Unless there's no smut...then that's just not fun.

DP: I liked Twilight, but I love romance and romance requires sex and sex can lead to smut and that is the circle of life, as far as I'm concerned. :)

MW: Hmmmm, yeah, it is kinda great. Hey, how many pairs of shoes do you have?
DP: Yeah, I’m not that girl. I’m not fashion-forward. So it’s a pair of All-Stars and my boots. The truth is that my BFF is my personal shopper. She tells me what to wear and she makes me pretty. But my own personal style is casual and comfort. And no, I don't wear crocs or crochet sweaters. I do have FLAIR

MW: Nice. Yeah, I noticed these open toed stiletto's I'm wearing really didn't offer much protection from the snow outside, but the 6 inch spike heel stabbed right into the ice when I walked. It was great.
DP: You're walking on your own ice picks. Don't throw your stilettos away, they might come in handy. You never know when a girl needs ice for her martini.

MW: That's what I figure, or in case I want to do any mountain climbing. So, what’s the first story you read?

DP: The one with the unicorns and the cookies and the “my girl”. C’mon, guess. I swear it’s the gateway fic for fandom. Somewhere on the interwebz, there’s a gatekeeper and she knows when you’ve finished Breaking Dawn and looking for more fic. They always direct you to AngstGoddess first, it’s like the first stop in Fandom. The Big Welcome Sign to – Your Life is No Longer Your Own. I love this question because every time I ask it, the answer is both excellent and unoriginal. I mean, who doesn't start with Wide Awake? I read it over the holidays last year, I think. I blew through it and AngstGoddess (best name in FF ever) had a few more chapters left. I had to figure out how the hell to get on alert and all that.

MW: So true. You know, we hung out...AG and myself. Gawked at my hottie lovin’ neighbor men that live across the street. It was a good day.

DP: Oh, man. Was she cool? I bet she's the bees knees.

MW: Real live slash from the comfort of my front porch. She was in heaven. I was too, can't lie. So, since you like her username so much, how did you choose your username?

DP: “denver” because I’m unoriginal and it’s where I roam. “popcorn” – well, it’s a great word, I love the stuff (no butter), and there’s another reason, but I save that for when I’m drinking with people. I'll come clean and say that popcorn is my bowling moniker. I've used it for years. It was given to me by a good friend. It's stuck ever since....erm, in the pantheon of Denver bowling, that is. :) By the way, that guy over there is checking you out. You may want to show your cleavage a bit.

MW: *hee-hee* Yeah, I didn't wear my usual corset today. My Neighbor Guy got a little distracted last night, ripped the darn thing in two! I'll have to push my chest out a bit more, maybe flash some thigh... Ohhhh, you got any trophies for that there bowling?

DP: *haha* No trophies from bowling, but lots of hangovers. Wait, hangover is a trophy. I think he'll appreciate the view. Not to mention...are those pasties on your nipples or are you just happy to see me? Lordy…

MW: Yeah well...you are kinda cute. Say, did you see the brunette boarder over by the fireplace? Wow, look at those shoulders... So, what’s your favorite fan fic story?

DP: Don’t have one. I love too many. I have a top 5 and a top 10 and they’re all categorized. Like CD’s or books, they’re set apart by genre, mood, and kink.

MW: So, you reading anything that's completely owning you right now? Like that Boarder is me? :D

DP: Yes, actually!

MW: Spill!!

DP: I'm reading a story by mothlights called BRONZE (the title is all caps, don't know why). At any rate, it's well-written and fast-paced. It's a tale of a vamp Bella who's asked to look over a newborn Edward. They are complete opposites of canon. She has all the restraint and experience. He has "the thirst" and works to stay in control. Also, Bella is a bad ass, girl. Just wicked cool. By the way, the brunette by the window is ogling at you through his goggles. Hike up that skirt.

MW: Ohhhh, it sounds great! Oh, and the story sounds really good too. *hee-hee* Glad I wore the lacy black thong today. It's always a favorite. Say, you hungry?

DP: When am I not? What you got? And, wow, you work quick...we're here for lunch and you're already setting the scene for thong removal. Really, I need to take notes from you

MW: I got Snickers. I hear you like them...

DP: Snickers? Hands down. They really do satisfy.

MW: Yeah, well, I have too many kids, I gotta work quick cause I never know how much mom time I'm gonna have, you know?

DP: Again, a multi-tasker. Impressive. Seriously, let's save the Snickers for last and order up bowls of chili. :)

MW: Okay. I saw a cheese platter somewhere around here, too. We need to hunt that baby down!

DP: Aha! Yes, I love cheese. The stinkier, the better.

MW: Hmmmmm, you really are kind of wonderful. So, how did you come up with the idea for your story?

DP: Drift was easy. A blizzard. I love snow-days. Bonafide snow days, not the kind that will close down schools and maybe government buildings. I’m talking no flights out, people are stranded, the whole world is quiet and waiting, snow days. I love to think about what happens behind closed doors when we’re given a “day off” from our everyday lives. So, naturally, I think sex and bad, bad things. I admit, I conceived it in the summer and thought it would be fun to write it through the Fall and Winter when my mood dips along with the temperature. I pictured myself in front of my laptop, window open, watching the snow fall or playing in it for inspiration. Well, it's mid-December now and we don't have snow. It's in the 60s and sunny. It's beautiful out and I'm craving the white stuff. The cold white stuff. Alas. **sigh**

MW: Good thing we came here, then. You can look out these windows and watch all the pretty men skiing. OH! Did you see that guy with the red bibs out there? The one in the half pipe. Those double corks he did were cool! Reminds me of The Flying Tomato! Though I’m sure he can’t do the frontside heelflip 540 body varial. You know, The Armadillo. Shauny Boy can do that… :D

DP: *haha* He's a funny looking guy and to use an old 80’s term, he's totally rad.

MW: Yeah, totally! Hey, speaking of awesomeness, if you could get it on with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?

DP: Rose from Bunny Does NYC. That waitress uniform with the apron is hot on Rose. She likes punk music, used to be a stripper, has a heart of gold, and she serves pie. I think I just drooled.

MW: Hmmmmm, that could be a good time, right there. She was pretty hot...

DP: Yeah? Did you read it?

MW: Um, YEAH! It's was great!! If I failed to review, it's only because I was running out the door in a hurry to get to Neighbor Guy and work off some of the way that story made me feel.

DP: Awesome...I'm here to inspire horniness. Kidding! That's a job for the smut-pros in this Fandom. I've been asked to do an Emmett/Rose O/S from Bunny Does NYC and it's a very appealing idea. He's a good guy and he's young, back home from one tour in Vietnam. She's a waitress and ex-stripper looking to remake herself. Ugh. I have a scene in mind that just makes me love them both.

MW: Hmmmm, does it involve pie? Like that scene in the American Pie movie?

DP: Haha… More of a metaphorical pie, I think. Although, I have been known to indulge in food porn. Wait, that’s a misuse of the term. :)

MW: Food porn...yummy. You know, some guys I knew in college always wanted to have a girl put a doughnut on their dick, and then eat it off. That could be classified as food porn, right? Wonder if they have any doughnuts around here...

DP: I could go for a bear claw or a jelly-filled pastry.

MW: Yeah, I'm more of an éclair girl. I like the creamy filling... That goes for both doughnuts and men. So, who is your favorite character to write?

DP: I loved writing Edward in Bunny Does NYC. It was akin to scriptwriting. I acted him out. It was method writing. Kidding, about method. I do not become nor have I ever been a fic character. Bunny Edward was fun because he had so much personality. I wanted to make him the popular, but snarky guy. He's well-liked but tries so hard to avoid trouble on the mean streets. ;)

MW: Yeah, he was good... :)

DP: And he jacks off at work. I deleted that scene.

MW: WHAT??? How in heavens name could you NOT give us that? I'm a be needing an outtake thread for that, please. I'll wait... *whistles as she bounces her foot* No? Well, think about it anyway.

DP: He and Bella also had sex in the projectionist booth, but I cut that one, too.

MW: *growls at denverpopcorn* I may have to get my hands on your computer very, VERY soon...

DP: *hahaha* Don't, the lemons are awful. I just wrote my very first last night! *pats self on back* The research was killer, but I sweat for my readers.

MW: Nice job!! They aren't as easy as you'd think, but they are fun to research... :D So, does music inspire your stories in any way?

DP: It inspires tone, but not plot or scene. Does that make sense? I like how some songs make me feel even before I understand the lyrics. One of my favorite songs is fast-paced, tonal, dark and powerful. I love it. Then I read the lyrics and it’s about the Green River Killer. So, whatev. It’s pretty and I like to sing the chorus loudly when I’m in the car alone.

MW: Ohhhh, what song is that?

DP: Deep Red Bells by Neko Case. I absolutely adore her. Adore, adore, adore.

MW: I'll have to look that one up. Sounds fun. :)

DP: Her lyrics are beautiful, too. Do it! :)

MW: Okay! Boy, look at all the boys gathering around us. I love it when they need a break from the slopes.

DP: We have chocolate, fellas. Quick, White, show ‘em your stuff!

MW: *adjusts her boobs* Yeah, we got the good stuff over here. So while they all show off for us, tell me how you met and got your betas?

DP: I love this question. How long do you have? I can talk about them for days. I approached Cesca Marie because she had this awesome profile page with her grammar pet peeves. She says she was being sarcastic. I thought it was an ad for the writing equivalent of a Submissive. I gladly (and quickly) sought her out. WriteOnTime left a review for my O/S, Bunny Does NYC. She asked me if I was writing anything else. I said, yes, and I never let go. I think she got whiplash with how quickly I latched on to her generous spirit. Some days I feel bad for it. Hahaha, kidding. I have no remorse. I love my betas. I do.

MW: Hmmmm, yeah, I must admit I have a rather otherworldly love for my beta's too. It's so easy to fall for them when they are twisting your words and combing through your phrases...

DP: Oh, did you know? I have been invited to become a VIP author on A Different Forest!

MW: OH! You did!! That's so exciting! That's one of my favorite places... :)

DP: Yeah, they're really nice over there, welcoming. And, back to the beta process...they really push me or ask me to dial down the crazy poetry. *cough*

MW: *ha-ha-ha* That's nice of them, though I like the crazy poetry. And yeah, most of my favorite authors have cabins over at ADF. It's a good time over there. So, how does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?

DP: Flattered and terrified at the exact same time. Do you know what that’s like? Flatterfied. I’m Stan from South Park and my readers are Wendy. I love them, but I want to throw up from nerves any time they come near me. That’s the extent of my love for the readers of Drift and Bunny. See, I have a heart. Most people don't gush, to be honest. They come out, say hi and sometimes leave me these fantastic critical reviews unearthing all the good stuff. I love that.

MW: Ohhh, that's nice. :) Man, these guys are taking forever... Wonder what's on tv right now... *picks up the remote laying on a table next to her*

DP: Meet the Press…it’s the oldest daytime show on television. It makes me laugh and it depresses me all at once. Really, no different than Real Housewives.

MW: Huh, I didn't know that. Interesting.

DP: It's true. It's politics/talking heads, you know. But it's on the free channel. My husband and I did away with cable last year. So now we're streaming online stuff. I do like reality tv, don't get me wrong. But I haven't watched much in a while. My favorites were the cooking ones...Top Chef and all that.

MW: Oh yeah, I love those cake shows. So yummy.

DP: The problem is that they make me hungry. Just like that beefcake over there flexing his muscles at us. I do believe his arm is the size of my thigh. Lordy…

MW: Holy hannah, he's sorta beautiful. He's winking at you!!! Flash something, quick!

DP: I think I'm winking back. I don't know. I'd need a mirror to make sure.

MW: Sure it's not just your fake eye lashes coming undone?

DP: Hahaha...you know, I actually do get asked about my lashes. They are very long, but also very real.

MW: Lucky skank. *glares and pouts*

DP: Aww...would it help if I told you that you have a nicer rack? I mean, mine's no small potatoes (okay, more like baby reds) but they're nothing to your Yukon golds. omg, what have you done to me? I won't be able to stop the food/sex innuendos...that's my Achilles’ heel.

MW: Yeah, well...they are kind of spectacular. But yours are looking almost edible in that little tank top you've squeezed them into. *winks at denverpopcorn* So, now that we know how amazing our boobs are, and by the looks on most of these guys faces, they do too, tell me which Twilight saga book is your favorite? And what’s your opinion on Breaking Dawn?

DP: I don’t have a favorite. They all sucked me in. (pun alert!) I didn’t mind Breaking Dawn. Let’s face it, I suspended my disbelief to the rafters when I read about vampires who twinkle. After that, a vamp-baby and pedophilia was nuthin’! A lot of people have a problem with Breaking Dawn but that's the very book that started this fandom. Let's face it, that "fade to black" business catapulted many innocent women into the stratosphere of pervy. I include myself here. They got married, sex was implied in feathers, and (skipping past the middle) Bella becomes a bad-ass vamp. My favorite scene in all the books is when Vampella hugs Edward for the first time. She's about to crush him, she's so strong (and happy).

MW: Hmmmm, that was a good scene. And it's so true. It's really why most of us are here. :D

DP: I hated New Moon.

MW: Oh no, you did? I guess a lot of people do. Not a Jacob fan?

DP: Oh, he's okay. You know, I actually enjoyed his POVs. But New Moon (wait, that's the 2nd one right) didn't have Edward! Waaah.

MW: Oh yeah, lack of Edward. It seriously brought down my mood and made me cry. But I did love hearing him in Bella's thoughts... :D Hey, what is the last movie you saw in a theater?

DP: Uncle Boomee Who Can Recall His Past Lives. It’s a Thai film (stupidly labeled as Magical Realism) that won the Palm D’Or this year in Cannes. It came to the Denver Film Fest. I took my best friend to see it and the only thing I can tell you about it, is that a woman got it on with a carp. A carp! Listen, it’s night and the moon is out. She swims near a waterfall and floats face up, relaxed. Pretty, right? Next thing you know, a huge – I’m talking the size of an adolescent boy – a huge catfish swims between her legs and she’s thrashing about, ecstatic. Yeah, like that. On the Ebert-meter, I gave it a sideways thumb.

MW: *stares at denverpopcorn* A fish? Seriously? I mean, I like fish with lemon, but I never thought of having it THAT way. I might need to see this movie...

DP: Dude! For reals...it was surreal. Thing is, I love foreign films. I love how risky and messy they are and they leave you an untidy ending. Most of them leave you no closure. But that one was too much in that it was just plain dumb. *shrugs* But I do have to catch up on my movie watching. Lots of good ones out right now that I don't want to miss.

MW: I know what you mean. So many movies, so little time. Just like so many boarders, so few days that I've reserved a room at this resort. Now, if you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?

DP: Start small. Work your way up to that WIP. O/S and WIPs are two different animals. Play with words. Have fun. Don’t take yourself seriously. That last part is so true. Don't you think that people take their stories tooooo seriously sometimes? Or is it just me?

MW: Absolutely! It's kind of entertaining to watch, especially on twitter.

DP: Also, write porn. Write and practice writing porn, it's liberating. Back to your point. Yes!

MW: Hmmmm, porn. There's good porn on twitter, too.

DP: That's probably the best reason for it.

MW: Speaking of porn on twitter, and all the RobPorn I've collected there, tell me...Who is your celebrity crush?

DP: Paul Newman. He’s dead. No kidding. It’s hard crushing on present-day celebs. The papz give away too much. Gone are the days of magic and glamour and pretending that you really have a chance with the guy in the poster. Also, Newman had those sky-blue eyes and that way when he walks (with his hips). He’s just coming up to you to order the blue-plate special, but it looks like he’s going to plant a big one on you. He’s UST on legs, and he invented the fucking sex-smirk. There, on record. Speaking of porn, that guy is pouring hot chocolate over his abs. Good thing it's cooled down. I'd hate to worry about blisters.

MW: Oh, yum! I could totally lick that off. You think they got any whipped cream in this place? I'll bet I could make myself a whipped cream bikini...what do you think?

DP: *haha* Wow, you are a pro. I never thought of that and I bow down to your lusty and beautiful ideas. And, yes, you can pull it off. May have to get an extra can for the rack, though.

MW: True, I do tend to run out whenever I try to make them. I've watched that Varsity Blues movie so many times...you know, 'cause of the high school football players...but that bikini scene is kinda hot.

DP: Ok, if I had to have a celebrity crush that's breathing, I'd go with Viggo Mortensen.

MW: Ohhhhhhh, Aragorn..... He. Is. Sexy. And, um, didn't he do a movie with stair sex? *tries to remember the youtube video of it*

DP: Dude. Violent something. Have you seen Eastern Promises w/ him and Naomi Watts? Do it! There is a fight scene in it, in a Russian spa room and he fights another guy totally naked. Weird, but still. Naked!

MW: What? Nekked Viggo? I need to update my Netflix. So, while I pour some more liquor in our hot chocolate, or hot chocolate in our liquor, what is your favorite part about fan fic and the Twilight fandom?

DP: The porn, the smut, and the extremely well-educated women who push it. I’m with family. I'll be earnest for a second and say that the encouragement in this fandom is humbling and beautiful. I hear mumblings about "drama" but I'm not involved in any of it because I've only experienced the good parts. People have been so kind and when you have a question, they answer you. I've been a reader and now I'm a reader and writer and I can tell you that everyone is wonderful.

MW: Ohhhh, that's so sweet. We'll just stick together and be totally drama free. :) Oh, maybe we could stick together with those guys? I think they're twins.

DP: I'll take the fat one. Kidding. They're not fat. Only where it counts.

MW: They might be phat...whatever that means. I'm not down with the cool kid lingo these days. But I do like those dimples.

DP: The ones on their backsides? That's an affirmative, Maverick

MW: *hee-hee* Oh yeah. I'd pinch that any day. Hey, you think if we sing an old Righteous Brothers song, they'll talk to us?

DP: You are my girl! I'll be your Iceman and pass the microphone, will you? I do a mean Righteous Brothers.

MW: Yes!!! I always had a thing for Iceman, I think it was the blonde hair. Though I secretly wanted Goose to let me show him the way home... :D Hey, what is your favorite ALMOST curse word?

DP: Madre de Dios! It means, “mother of God!” in Spanish. Mom says it. Apparently, you cannot take the Lord’s name in vain, but His mother is fair game. That is true. I say it a lot. But my favorite curse word altogether is the old standby, everyone's favorite, the mother of all curse words, the classic…

MW: Crap?

DP: Hint: it starts with a nice, strong F...

MW: Freakin' A?

DP: Oh, you’re a fucking comedienne, you are. *haha*

MW: That's me...I'm snarky AND sexy. It's a deadly combination. *adjusts her boobs*

DP: *sliding my glasses down my nose and tries not to gawk* Good to know. It's also a winning combination, Mrs. White.

MW: *winks at denverpopcorn* Yep, just keep that in mind. Now, we need to get us a couple of these boarders. I don't want our luxury suite here going to waste. So one more question before we make our move... If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

DP: You should have made a left turn at Albuquerque.

MW: *hee-hee* You know, if I made a left turn at Albuquerque, it would lead me straight to your house. Well, with a lot of twists and turns in between.

DP: *haha* I'm a Bugs Bunny fan. I don't own a duvet or comforter that's Bugs, mind you. I'm a grown up. But I love Looney Tunes. So yeah.

MW: *stares at denverpopcorn* Holy cow, woman, how drunk are you? I seem to have gotten you good and liquored up, so let's not waste it! Let's grab the twins and maybe chocolate abs man and go have some fun in our room. Whatcha say?

DP: Don't forget the whipped cream. And, um, can you hold my beer goggles? I need to use the restroom.

MW: Sure thing, sweet cheeks.

DP: I had quite a bit to drink. Let's go before I drift myself to sleep... 

Mean Mrs. Mustard is Exchanging Gifts from McManda627 this Christmas Time!

Hey! I am going to make this short and simple. I know it’s getting close to Christmas and a lot of you are out finishing up your shopping and spending time with the family. I, also, know that doing those things are probably giving you a headache and you are just about ready to strangle some family member, so instead of doing that why don’t you take a little breather and read Exchanging Gifts by McManda627. It is very much in the Christmas spirit and has pure romantic smut. This fic is only six chapters and just long enough to get you away from the family and in a good mood.

Edward and Bella are newlyweds and spending their first Christmas together as a married couple. Bella asks Edward what he wants for Christmas and all he wants is Bella. Awww… How sweet. Bella takes his request quite literally. She gives him her.

I placed myself on the bed, furiously wracking my brain for a sexy pose to entice him with when he opened the door to our bedroom. I settled for leaning back on my hands, with my knees raised, one leg over the other.

The door to our bedroom opened and my breath caught as he stepped inside, my name on his lips. He stopped short when he saw me reclining on our bed. His jaw dropped slightly before it curved into a slight smile.

"Merry Christmas," I said in a low voice.

His eyes clouded over with lust as he walked toward me, shutting the bedroom door behind him.

"Bella," he said throatily. "You look … are … amazing." His knees hit the bed and he was crawling toward me, reaching out to run his hand up from my ankle to my knee to come to rest just below the short skirt of my boy shorts.

He leaned forward, pressing a kiss on my neck before looking up at me. "Not that I'm complaining," he said as the hand he had on my thigh slid higher, "but what's the occasion?"

"Other than Christmas Eve?" I smirked slightly but held his gaze. "It's your Christmas present. You said you only wanted me, so that's what I'm giving you. Me. Anyway you want me."

He growled low in his throat before drawing himself up more fully to my position on the bed. I missed the warmth and pressure from his hand, but complied when he pulled me up into a sitting position before grabbing my head and drawing it to his.

"So fucking sexy," I heard him say before his lips met mine. I wound my arms around his neck and wasted no time opening my mouth under his, waiting for his tongue to seek out mine. This was his night, I would do things his way.

I wasn't disappointed. His tongue met mine as his hands slipped from my face to my shoulders, pausing there momentarily before running down my sides underneath the velvet jacket. I took the opportunity to press my body more fully against his, reveling in the hardness of his body.

His mouth moved from mine to my jaw and then to my neck, where he licked and sucked before moving back up yet again to kiss the space behind my ear. I gasped and I could feel him smile. His hand had settled on my hips and was toying with the band of the boy shorts. My hands had made their way to his chest, running them from the top of his button down shirt to the top of his dress pants.

I was breathless when he pulled back. "You taste so good."

"And you're wearing too many clothes."

His eyes widened before he responded. "I think I might need some help with that."

There’s some sex on the stairs, piano sex, kitchen sex, and some great sex at Carlisle and Esme’s house during New Year’s. I enjoyed this light, sweet, sexy fic very much and I think you will too.

Go. Read. Enjoy! Don’t forget to leave a review! Merry Christmas!

Miss Scarlet meets Little Green and Easybella by BettiGefecht!

The Cherry Exchange Contest is like a dream come true. Basically it’s the fandom’s way of wiping clean the fade to black that we abhor and get the headboard breaking, flying feathers we deserved. There was one that stood out for me. Little Green and Easybella by BettiGefecht tugged at my heart strings. I can tell you this doesn’t happen often. Also it isn’t the smutty kind of lemon that’s my usual cup of tea. Another shocker. The story follows a very recently divorced Bella lamenting her failed marriage and the fact that she’s still a virgin. Wait, did I just say virgin? Yep, our dear girl has yet to know the love a man. Okay that’s a bit cliché but like I said this is sweet. After running into Esme Cullen, who is expecting the arrival of her son, Edward, Bella begins to remember the silent boy that she used to baby-sit. Sent to a special boarding school, Bella had lost contact with Edward. Through alternating POV’s you learn about their past history and get insight on Edward. I don’t want to give too much of the story away and spoil it for you. If you want a happy story, read Little Green and Easybella.

"Hello, Green," I say – I cannot refer to him as 'little' any more, "Do you remember what you used to call me?"

He nods again, "Easybella." It's merely a whisper.

It makes me smile even more. "Yes. It's nice though to hear you call me Bella. Even at the ungodly hour of seven o' clock on a Sunday."

He is completely oblivious to my not so subtle innuendo. "I practiced," he says and opens his eyes, "Last night. I wanted to say it right."

"You practiced to say my name?"

Another nod.

"Come in," I laugh, and he takes my hand and I let him, because it's always been like that. He hardly ever lost physical contact with me when he was a child. Like a cute, little spider monkey.

So he holds my hand when I close the door behind him, and he doesn't let go as we walk towards the kitchen where I try to one-hand-operate the coffee percolator, not without difficulty. He notices my distress and releases my hand, but steps closer to me from behind, and then I feel his warm fingers in the nape of my neck. Skin... he always preferred skin on skin. I press the button and the coffee maker starts to gurgle.

"You smell good," he declares, and his breath is tickling my skin. It gives me goose bumps, and not the chilly kind.

I giggle sheepishly. "Oh right... hello, morning breath? Don't be silly, Edward."

He steps even closer; I can feel the warmth radiating from him on my back through the fabric of my robe, and then his arms are around my waist. "You do smell good," he insists, with a mild undertone of indignation in his new, silken voice.

After reading this, I wanted to get to know more about Betti and how she came up with such an amazingly beautiful story. Luckily she agreed to let me bader her with my questions.

Miss Scarlet: How did you get started with FF, both reading and writing?

BettiGefecht: There was a lot of twittering going on about a story calles “wide Awake”. It peaqued my interest, and so I started to read it. Unfortunately, it wasn't my cup of tea. But I was intrigued by the concept of fan fic itself, borrowing the characters and put them in a different story.

The first fic I read completely (and enjoyed the hell out of it) was Clipped Wings & Inked Armor by Hunterhunting.

I started writing my first fic (Your True Colors http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5460166/1/Your_True_Colors) after I saw a beautiful young man on the train one morning (resembled Rob a little) and my mind started spinning, a what-if-fantasy. I wrote it for myself, not really planning on uploading it anywhere. Encouraged by my friend and later beta Uhyesplease, I continued writing and finally put it on fanfiction.net, incognito.

Later, after I had gained a little more confidence about my writing (thanks to my wonderful readers and reviewers!!) I changed to my real name. Since I made that fic a multimedia experience of sorts with creating illustrations for each chapter and writing and recording original music for it, it was just too complicated to have different names for the different fields of art.

MS: What character from the book do you identify with the most?

BGF: Edward. And before you ask, yes I read that tidbit of Midnight Sun, and loved it. But even before, reading the Twilight books, I always walked in Edward's shoes. Guess I have too much testosterone or something...

MS: What inspired you to write Little Green and Easybella?

BGF: When I contemplated about the requirements for a Cherry Exchange Contest entry – which were not necessarily describing the act itself, but how Edward and Bella happened to be both virgins when they meet and such – I was trying to find something original. I didn't want them to be teenagers, but wanted to create circumstances that lead both of them to be still virgins as adults. So my first idea was the Bella/Jacob situation.... I don't want to be any more specific herem for those who haven't read it. Spoiler-alarm! The special condition of Edward just happened. I had no idea he would be like this until I wrote it down. From there I just went with the momentum of the story, not even thinking about the possible ick factors... duh!

The incredible reactions I received from readers personally concerned with a condition like Edward's blew me away. If you're interested in those astonishing events in the wake of my little story, you can read about it on the Contest Blog http://thecherrypit.thecherryexchange.com/?p=72

MS: Which character do find is the easiest to work with when you write?

BGF: Writing doesn't come easy to me, especially in English which isn't my mother tongue. I'm terribly slow, and it takes FOREVA to get me going. So I don't find any character exactly “easy” to work with. But I guess, I'm most comfortable with male, introvert, somewhat damaged but utterly adorable characters. In other words: all my different Edwards were like home to me.

MS: Who are your favorite non-cannon pairing?

BGF: Edward/Jasper. Yep, I dig menslash.

MS: There are a lot of clichés written in fan fiction, which is your biggest pet peeve?

BGF: The “molten chocolate” (Bella's eyes) is pretty annoying. But the biggest pet peeve is that “moaning into his/her mouth” thing. I mean, who does that? Moaning into one's mouth?? Moan elsewhere, dude, not into my mouth, LOL.

MS: If you could beat the shit out of one Twilight character, from the book or movie, who would it be? How would you do it and why?

BGF: Oh, that's a toughie. I want to beat the shit outta pretty much everyone from Twilight. KIDDING!!!! Ok, seriously... Edward. Because he is so whiney.

MS: Every writer has their own process. What helps you to get the story out? Do you use an outline or just let the story tell itself?

BGF: I don't use outlines. Before I started to write stories, the only thing I'd ever written were song lyrics (since I'm a musician/songwriter). When writing a song, I usually start with just a hookline or a single rhyme, and develop everything else from there, building the song around it. It's pretty much the same with writing fic. There's a spark, a single idea... or just a scene... or just a character. I start from there and just go with the momentum. My characters very often won't even obey and just do what they want, instead of doing what I write. So if the story sucks, it's not my fault then, right? Blame it on Edward!

Besides that, most of the things I write are to some degree based on my own life, as I'm not very good in making things up out of nowhere. (And no! I WON'T tell you what parts or in what degree, okay??).

MS: The twific fandom seems to be going through a fair amount of drama these days, how do you feel about the fandom as a whole?

BGF: I must admit I'm not much aware of any drama going on. Maybe it's because I stick to the 'wrong' people in fandom? I dn't know. I still think it's an awesome community of brilliant, intelligent and lovely people. I have experienced nothing but good things. Although I'm German and most of my twific peeps are US based, I even found friends for life who I met in person already.

MS: What's your favorite curse word?

BGF: LOL. It's a curse sentence. “Fuck me sidewards!” I love that :)

MS: Which fanfic story do you wish you had written?

BGF: Dead On My Feet by CescaMarie, and every single story by Theladyingrey

MS: What advice would you give to a new author wanting to write fan fiction?

BGF: None. Because I am a new author myself (and writing in my second language, for crying out loud!). And narcissistic artist or not... there are limits even to my hubris.

Oh... maybe just one: Write what you know. (I do! I'm not good in making things up...)

MS: What are your top five favorite stories?

Dead On My Feet by Cesca Marie - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6007656/1/
Stay Golden by GiveUsAKiss413 - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6317111/1/
C56 by ss10 - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5801089/1/
Our Lives Unbound by Theladyingrey - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6046442/1
All I Ever Knew by Manyafandom - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4676940

MS: If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

BGF: “Hi Betti, I've been thinking, and well... what do you say, are you ready for one more round down there?” (I'm sure God would be relieved if I'd agree and just turn on my heels, LOL)

MS: Is there anything you’d like to add?

BGF: Hmm... dunno? Maybe thanks for having me?

THANKS FOR HAVING ME!!! :)

If you think it's any good, you can add my web hangouts, or pick the ones you think are of any interest. Like maybe my fandom art blog (banners and blinkies). Dunno. Your choice.

Here's the list:
My main fun blog:
http://bettimusictwilight.blogspot.com

Online Music Downloads:
http://bettis-art-house.blogspot.com

There's a somewhat neglected personal website too:
http://www.bettigefecht.com

My fun art for fandom blog:
http://banners-by-betti.blogspot.com

My fiction blog with illus, teasers, music:
http://your-true-colors.blogspot.com
(it's a no no for underage readers. k?)

And on youtube:  

http://www.youtube.com/user/bettigefecht

Mr. Green learns that he can start Always Fighting From the Heart from Pange!

Did you miss me ladies? Of course you fukking did; you know you crave the company of Mr. Green by now, you will never meet anyone else like me. I’ve been busy getting ready for holidays and still nursing myself back to health. I’m not quite feeling up to fukking par yet but I’m much better than I was I assure you. I decided to dig in to my favorites and came across a fic that even I found myself missing and getting a little fukking emo rereading. Always Fighting from the Heart by pange is a fukking remarkable story about a girl and a soldier that love one another through good times and bad. They find each other when neither one is expecting nor wanting to, the story that follows will leave you fukking wanting more. I Mr. Green know I want more. So read it and fukking enjoy ladies. Make sure you tell the author Mr. Green sent you and show her some fukking love; those are your instructions this week.

Bella wants to deny Edward but she can’t and Edward isn’t afraid to call her out on it. A little taste that will leave you wanting more I’m sure. Their first kiss:

He leaned down until his mouth was just inches from hers. "Bullshit," he whispered, before bringing his mouth down against hers harshly. She tried to hold herself stiff; tried to put off the air of being unmoved by his assault on her mouth. But she came undone when he unexpectedly softened the kiss, molding his lips around her bottom lip and sucking gently. She sighed softly and gave in, pulling her arms from his grasp and winding them around his neck. His tongue darted out and licked the corner of her mouth, so sweet with just a hint of salt from tears and sweat. His hands slipped around her back and ran under the hem of her tank top, pulling her impossibly closer. Edward thought he would drown in her, in his need for her.

Bella ran her fingers up into what was left of his hair, scraping her nails lightly along his scalp. She opened her lips and sucked his tongue lightly into her mouth, snapping the small thread he had on his self-control. He ran his right hand down over her hip and hitched her leg up, pushing her back into the mirrored wall. She pulled away, wincing, as the ballet bar bit into her back.

You’ll notice from my previous reviews that I’m not real fukking big on the angst but I decided to take some advice from my hot new MILF Mrs. White and serve you up some feelings of dread, anxiety and anguish which we lovingly refer to as fukking angst. The first taste of it:

"So soon. Two months. It's not enough time," Bella's voice caught in her throat and she bit her lip in an attempt to stifle the sobs that threatened to erupt from her.

"Come here." Edward's eyes misted over as he pulled her up into his lap. She settled with her legs around his waist and buried her face in his neck. Finally she could hold back no longer and let the tears come in the form of noisy sobs that rocked them both.

Edward stroked her back and whispered nonsense words of comfort as silent tears streaked down his face.

Always Fighting from the Heart gives you sweetness, angst and hotness all the way through. I have mad respect for an author who gives you a peak into their real life by writing what she lives. Recently, I had the awesome opportunity to sit down with the author and chat over a cup of Green fukking Tea of course. Serious ladies, try it if you haven’t, it’s like sex in your fukking mouth.

Mr. Green: Hello sweetheart, thank you for joining me.
pange: Thank you for having me Mr. Green.

Mr. Green: Well let’s get down to business. We both know while we’re here. We can always mess around later. How did you get into Fan Fiction?
pange: I found fanfic after reading the books straight through three times and after I finished Midnight Sun. I was so frustrated that it wasn't finished and I was so in love with EPOV. I belonged to a Rob fan site where some of the other posters were discussing Wide Awake...I just had to try it. It took me a little bit to get used to it because the characters were so far removed from the Twilight universe, but after that, I was hooked.

Mr. Green: I know and love that fic very much darling. What are your five favorite all time fics?
pange: Cure For Pain by ZephyerSky; Get Me To You by Chicklette (I want to cry just thinking about this one, I love it so much); Inside by fngrcufs; Son of a Preacher Man by LaViePastiche; Volition by Rochelle Allison.

Mr. Green: I’ve heard of some of those. What are you reading right now that you have to share?
pange: Right now I'm pretty much pwnd byThree Graces and a Muse by FarDareisMai2 and Seventeen Men by Conversed.

Mr. Green: I’ll have to check those out. What do you do to prepare to write a new story?
pange: I pretty much don't prepare. I write things as I see them in my head. Scenes from my stories play like movies in my head and I write to describe them. Wow. That sounds kind of scary. LOL It can make it difficult though. Like right now, I haven't updated Always Fighting in a long time because I'm having a hard time seeing what's going to happen next, even though I've had the basic plot in my head for forever.

Mr. Green: Maybe this will be the motivation you need baby. I know as a fan that we are all panting for more. *winks*
pange: You are definitely good inspiration my fine new friend. *winks*

Mr. Green: All right all right baby no distracting me yet, we still have some work to do.
pange: *blushes* I’ll try not to.

Mr. Green: What's your favorite swear word?
pange: Fuck. It's so easy to use in almost any situation.

Mr. Green: My favorite as well baby. Many know by now that I like to drag it out and make it last… fukke. I prefer to control when it ends, like I do for some many other things. *winks* Ok if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
pange: "Yay! My favorite fanfic author is here!" *giggle*

Mr. Green: All right, time to have a little fun, if you could be a super hero or have a super power who or what would it be?
pange: For any new readers out there that aren't familiar with Always Fighting, the events in the story are heavily based on my life as an Army wife. Army wife = long, lonely deployments. So I've always said, if I could have any super power, it would definitely be teleportation. I could be in & out of my husband's room overseas without anyone knowing. =D

Mr. Green: I’m sure your husband would appreciate that power a lot as well. Now for the most important question in the interview of course… What’s your favorite color Green baby?
pange: Just your luck honey, my favorite color happens to be Green Even more so that I’ve met you! *winks*

Mr. Green: Baby you sure know how to sweet-talk a guy. What you say we get out of here? I’ll buy you a new pair of shoes or something sexy to welcome the hubby home with. 

As you can see pange is an awesome chick to sit down and have a chat with. I’m looking forward to her next chapter and I’m sure after you read what she’s got so far you will be too. Tell next time ladies. Keep it Green.