Mrs. White goes to Our Yellow House with CaraNo!

Oh crap, I'm late! Wow, haven't mumbled that phrase in a while...not since the last time I had to pee on one of those little plastic sticks. Hope Neighbor Guy didn't hear that, it'll scare him away. Anyhow, it's so flippin' exciting around here this week!! Balloons everywhere, crepe paper streamers, Edward plates and cups and napkins, sparkly 'Happy Birthday' signs, gift bags... Well, I guess the army of children is good for something, right? And obviously I've taught them well, 'cause DANG those kids know how to throw a party! So in honor of the birthday week, I decided to tell you all about one of my very favorite stories right now, one that I can't stop reading and that leaves me begging for more at the end of each chapter. I'll admit, I might stalk the Facebook Group page...maybe. I'm obsessed with all the theories and ideas running rampant about this story, and I'm sure it's not just old age causing me to act like this.

Our Yellow House by CaraNo is the story of a broken Edward, barely managing to hold himself together enough to get through each day. Why is he like this, you might ask? Well, it's simple really. His wife, the love of his life, Bella, was kidnapped from a gas station three years earlier, and not only was she taken, but also the son she was pregnant with. Edward's future came to a crashing halt in only a few seconds, and ever since, he's just a shadow of his former self, living each day with only the memories of their life together.

*****
I never thought Charlie Swan would end up being my best friend but I stand corrected. Not only is he my best friend, he is also the one I can be myself with. The one who understands, the one who never pressures. Because he's the same. The two of us are the same. Broken. Muted.

Dead inside.

I even wear flannel nowadays.

You would laugh, and I would smile because I love the sound of your laughter.

Everyday is the same. I wake up, take a shower, sometimes I shave, sometimes I don't. I get dressed – jeans, a wife beater, and a flannel shirt that I leave unbuttoned. Can't part with my well worn black All Stars, either.

I skip breakfast. If you can call it breakfast. I wake up around 2 pm, so perhaps I should call it… what do you call a meal around that hour? It can't be lunch, right? Too early for dinner.

Late lunch. Yeah.

I skip that, anyway.

I sit on the porch for a couple of hours. Sipping coffee, smoking cigarettes. Sometimes Charlie comes over, sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes I tinker with my guitar, sometimes I don't. But often I do.

I always think of you when I play.

Then around 5 in the afternoon, I head to work. I stop by RJ's on the way, because by that time I'm starving, and Rose and her brother James, they make the best burgers. Except for the pickles. I can't stand pickles but I can't bring myself to order a burger without them. Instead I throw them in the garbage.

You always smiled when I grimaced, giving you the pickles.

*****

After an extensive search with few leads, the authorities basically give up on ever finding Bella, or she and Edward's unborn son. Not knowing what happened to them has left Edward unable and unwilling to move on, and he lives each day with the hope that maybe someone will find a clue that day, maybe someone will see something that day, maybe someone will find Bella that day, maybe he'll finally know what happened to her...

The true genius of this story is that not only do we get Edward's POV, but we also get Bella's, because she's not dead...though in reality she's far from actually living. Having been taken by what can only be described as a deranged mad man, Bella has spent the past 3 years being held captive, a prisoner often chained in basements, thrown in car trunks, and locked in dark rooms. She gave birth to her and Edward's son, only to have him taken each day by Garrett, the man holding them both captive. EJ lives a seemingly normal life, or so most outsiders would think. We the readers know it's far from normal, and EJ is far from normal, but Bella does her best to keep him strong and to tell him about his real life, and the people that really love him...namely his father, Edward.

*****

You'd love him so much. You'd be his hero.

He's three years old today, Edward.

He's perfection. He's the only one I smile for. The only one that keeps me breathing.

Our little EJ.

He has your eyes. You should see them, they're beautiful. And you'd be happy to hear that he has my hair. You never liked your own. I loved yours, though. You know that.

He has your personality, too. God, he's so smart, baby.

In a way I don't like that, because he knows something is wrong. He's so good at reading me. Too good. He wonders everyday why mommy doesn't leave the house. He asks often why Garrett doesn't like mommy, and why Garrett's the only one to take him to daycare.

What am I supposed to tell our boy? Am I supposed to tell him that I'm not here willingly? Been there done that. In a way.

I've told him all about you, of course. He's still too young to understand much of it, but he does know his daddy's name is Edward. Just like him. And he stares at the small photo of you I have.

Remember the one, baby? The photo of you in my locket?

I remember when you gave it to me, and the beautiful necklace that goes with it.

I still have it, and I show it to EJ every night.

He often asks about the guitar in that photo and he giggled when I told him that you named the guitar Sadie.

I've told him stories about New Orleans, about our yellow house, and EJ wants to visit so badly. More than most kids want to visit Disneyland.

Instead we're stuck in some town in Washington.

Forks.

EJ tells me it rains a lot here.

I wouldn't know. I'm not allowed to leave the house, and the blinds are always drawn. But I do hear it sometimes. Mostly at night.

That's when I'm awake. Perhaps like you, baby? Are you still a night person? You always were.

Same here, anyway.

I'm not allowed to see EJ until he gets back from daycare – apart from waking him up in the morning – so I make sure I'm awake every hour I do get to see him. Even if he's asleep, I watch him. Make sure he's okay. For the most of it, he is. But he's still wondering about a lot of things.

I'm wondering, too...

I love you, Edward. So much. You have my heart.

Have you moved on?

*****

After another move, Bella is unsure where she and EJ have relocated to, but soon enough he starts a new preschool, and as luck would have it, his teacher is a lovely woman named Alice...who happens to live across the street from Edward. Your heart will be racing when Edward shows up to the preschool one day as a favor to Alice, bringing along his guitar so that he can play for the kids. Who'd have thought that would be EJ's first day of school...and that he'd recognize more than anyone ever would have guessed he'd be able to. Will Edward believe EJ is really his son? Has Bella gone completely crazy after being held a prisoner for so long? Why, exactly, does Garrett keep calling Bella Irina? And seriously, why are the only toys EJ plays with Legos?

This story is so moving, so captivating, you'll be hooked before you know it. The emotion in each chapter is beautiful and consuming. The heartbreak for Edward, Bella, and Charlie is gut wrenching. The things Bella has gone through are terrifying. I think the thing that most gets me is that each of them is so hopeless about the situation. They've all lost the hope that they will ever be together again. Of course they want to be, but how? Garrett is a dangerous man and seems to be acting out for no reason. How can things ever be okay again?

I love this story, not even kidding. It completely owns me right now. It's about half way done and with updates twice a week, I'm DYING to find out how everything will be resolved. CaraNo has promised us a HEA, so I know it's coming, but in the mean time...I'm completely in love with all the angst and the memories and the heartbreak. It's wonderful and I can't get enough of it. If you love smart mysteries, you'll love this. Plus, getting to hear Bella's thoughts as she remembers Edward? Hmmmmm...nice.

Well, cake's here, so I'd better go. Wouldn't want all those candles to burn anything down, now would I? Well, I mean not like there's a LOT of candles on there... But oh, the cake is in the shape of a corset, which reminds me, Neighbor Guy left a special little gift bag in my bedroom. I need to go open that baby and see what little surprise he's got in store for me this week!



Mrs. White: Hey CaraNo! Thanks so much for coming over today. You know, I only have a birthday once a year...unfortunately.

CaraNo: Hey! And shit, don't thank me. With these hunks around, I should be thanking you. ;) Happy birthday, by the way! :D

MW: No problem. I figured what better birthday gift to myself then picking your brain about Our Yellow House! And if a few half naked, wet, drunk men are here too...all the better. Which reminds me, we need salads for this bar-b-que.

Cara: Pick away! *haha* Salad, eh? You don't by any chance have pickles, do you? I love pickles, preferably big ones.

MW: Oh honey, I always have pickles. The bigger, the better. That's what I always say. So, how did you get started in fan fic?

Cara: I wrote a continuation on Breaking Dawn before I knew there was such a thing as fanfiction, and then a friend told me ‘oh, yeah, that’s huge. Many people write their own Twilight-stories.’ Let’s just say that I googled ‘fanfiction’ immediately, and then I was hooked. And my 157 pages of BD-continuation was forgotten.

MW: Ohhhhh, a BD continuation piece, you say... Sounds interesting.

Cara: Well, I missed the fight in BD, and more *haha* so yeah, that’s what got me started. Shit, feels like ages ago.

MW: Yeah, I was looking forward to that big fight... I do so love an Angry Edward. Hmmmmm...he's delicious. Oh, what's your favorite kind of cookie?

Cara: Oreos like PAW… Preferably PAW with Oreos. *sigh* Or Oreos on PAW… Or just PAW… What was the question?

MW: *looks at Cara curiously* Um, what the heck is PAW? Am I missing something? You mean like some guy pawing at you while you eat your cookies? ‘Cause that would be awesome.

Cara: PAW is PunkAssWard *grins widely* Ever heard of the fic 'Pound of Flesh'? Yeah, he's there. Yummy and loving Oreos. He's got ink, a foul mouth, and a big... *clears throat* Pickle.

MW: Oh, I heard about that story. I guess I should read that one of these days. Mmmmmm, smells like Neighbor Guy's got the bar-b-que going. That's good, I'm starving. So, what’s the first story you read?

Cara: Oooh, I don’t remember the title. The only thing I remember is that I started out with T-rated stories, very close to SM’s world. In other words, I only read vamp-stories. Back then I thought it would be weird to have Edward even say the word ‘fuck’. Yeah, I’ve come a long way. *laughs* Today I want him human and very kinky. I do remember my first M-rated story, though. It was Bella?Marie? by Nyomixx, and I was sold after the first lemon.

MW: Hmmmm, lemons are yummy. I think those lemony moments are what brought a lot of us here. Hey, have you ever sang karaoke?

Cara: Nope.

MW: Bummer. Neighbor Guy's friends like it when hot, drunk girls sing really badly.

Cara: Well, if hot guys and booze are involved.... Where's the damn microphone?! *laughs*

MW: Ahhhh, a girl after my own heart. *sniffle* So, what’s your favorite fan fic story and why?

Cara: Faithfully by LailaB is one of my favorites without a doubt. I love a story that isn’t always about Edward and Bella getting together, but that their relationship is also a big part of the story. The Education of Professor Cullen is also one of my favorites.

MW: Oh, those sound interesting. I might have to look those up. Although it seems like every time I get online, all I manage to do is look up new RobPorn. Huh...wonder why that is...

Cara: *eyes glazes over at the thought of RobPorn* Mmhmm... yes.... that’s it... *shakes head* What'd you say? Oh, yeah, stories. Check them out. *nods*

MW: Yes, I do have an amazing collection of RobPorn. It takes up an entire closet, but you know...it's like air, really. He's just too pretty for words. I was wondering, which Disney Princess most closely resembles you?

Cara: *scratches chin* Huh… They’re all so damn T-rated, you know. I’m gonna go with Nala in the Lion King, ‘cause I’m an animal like that. *nods firmly*

MW: An animal, you say? *winks at CaraNo* Very nice indeed.

Cara: Well, you asked for it. *laughs* So...what can I do to help? We need to get this started because those guys... *dreamy sigh* Yeah, they're waiting. *winks* And we don’t wanna keep them waiting, right?

MW: No we don't, which means we should get our bikini's on now. I got a new one for my birthday, it's green. Oh! That reminds me, Mr. Green owes me... Well, I'll think about that tomorrow. So while we go get changed, how do you come up with the ideas for your stories?

Cara: It varies. Sometimes it’s a picture that inspires me, sometimes a song. Our Yellow House came to me when I saw the movie ‘A love song for Bobby Long’. The movie itself has nothing to do with my story, but the scenery and the sadness is there. The music of that movie is also big in my story.

MW: I do love music, especially all the songs you've been putting in Our Yellow House. Hey, do my boobs look big enough in this top? Maybe I should squish them together a bit more...

Cara: I'm a helpful person, so please, allow me. *pushes Mrs. White’s spectacular boobs together* You like the music, eh? Well, I can't take credit for even half of it. My readers and my husband play a huge part when it comes to music. I asked for songs, fitting with the story, and the ideas came tumbling in. *looks at boobs and nods* Perfect.

MW: Wow, your hands are really soft. You must moisturize, huh?

Cara: Oh, I have to. I take care of my hands because I worship my own computer and he deserves pretty and soft hands, right? *laughs* And my husband, too, I suppose. *whispers* But shit, don't mention my hubs around these hunks.

MW: Don't worry. What they don't know won't hurt them, right? Oh hey, before we go back out there, let's grab a dvd, we can have it running in the background. Any favorites?

Cara: The Godfather II.

MW: Huh...haven't seen that. The only thing I know about The Godfather movies is what I learned while watching that Tom Hanks movie You've Got Mail. They said something about "taking it to the mattresses"? I'm all for anything that involves "taking" on a mattress...

Cara: Uh yeah.... I think it's best we keep your mind smutty, ‘cause you wouldn’t like the mafia-meaning of that saying. *haha* ;)

MW: Hmmmmm, intriguing. So, I was wondering, who is your favorite character to write?

Cara: *grins* Takeward. (Edward in Isla de Cullen)

MW: Really? Cause I'm kinda smitten with your Dr. Sexward in What's Up Doc and I'll Tell You What's Up, although Edward in Our Yellow House is pretty amazing, too. Especially with E.J., he's just so sweet. I wanna grab him and hug him...cuddle him...throw him on the floor...do very dirty things to him... Oh wait, there would be a child there. That's not too appropriate, now is it? So, back to the subject at hand, now why do you call him Takeward?

Cara: He's Takeward, partly because he takes what he wants, but mostly because he takes charge. He doesn’t fail, and he never surrenders. In the beginning of Isla, it was all about claiming Bella, taking her 'purity.' But then, now, it's about him taking charge. He's the ultimate boss, pretty much. As for Dr. Sexward and Memoryward, I love them, too. Sexward for the humor, and Memoryward just because he's so loving. And yes, he's amazing with EJ. They're both sweethearts.

I love all my Edwards but after reading sooo many stories about BxE dancing around each others feelings and 'oh, but what if she doesnt love me' and 'but I'm so boring, I'm sure he'd rather be with someone else,' I'm happy to write Takeward, because he never hides. When I wrote It's a Sign for instance... Christ, I wanted to smack Edward in the back of the head so many times. Always dodging and assuming. *haha* Takeward for me is fresh air. He's brutally honest and unapologetic. Wow, I'm rambling. Lots to say about Edward, I suppose. *grins*

MW: *winks at CaraNo* Well, well, well...I do like you rambling. And all that Edward talk is just hot, kinda like it is out here in the sun. Good thing I have sun screen, wouldn't want to go getting one of those annoying sunburns. You thirsty? What do you want?

Cara: Coke Zero. I need it like air.

MW: Sounds good. Pour some liquor in that and we're all set!

Cara: Booze, hot guys, and... *eyes glaze over* Hot guys.... Yep, all set. *nods*

MW: Yes, it doesn't get much better than this. Oh! Have I mentioned my huge stack of RobPorn? Well, large closet full, really. Anyway, we'll save that for after all these pretty boys have gone home. So, how did you meet and get your beta?

Cara: I ‘met’ her when I had doubts about posting my first story (Fall & Rise) and she offered to read a few chapters. She was hooked and told me that she would love to beta it for me so I could post it. We’re each others firsts. ;) I’m her first writer, and she’s my first beta. We’re both still learning, and there are plenty of mistakes, but we stick together, and many have told me how they see progress from Fall & Rise to, let’s say It’s a Sign.

MW: Well, that's sweet. You always remember your first...or so I've been told.

Cara: *sigh* And sometimes you wish you didn't.... Oh, subject changed. Sooo not talking about betas anymore. Then again, I have a feeling you didn't either haha ;)

MW: Oh yeah, we were talking about beta's...that's right... *stares off dreamily* Aaaaanywho, speaking of firsts and that kinda thing, where you involved in any extra curricular activities while growing up?

Cara: I’m a swimmer. Or at least I used to be. Started when I was 5 and quit when I was 17, so that was pretty much my life when I grew up.

MW: Ohhhhh, you should totally challenge some of these guys to a race! We could make it into some kinda drinking game, maybe take bets on it. *looks around at the hot guys all flexing and showing off* I think we could make some serious cash, which is great since Sluts R Us down at the mall is having a sale on their corsets again.

Cara: Racing with hot guys? *scratches chin* I think that’s impossible. Simply because I'd be swimming towards them, not away from them. Then if you add alcohol to that... Well, if I don't drown, I'll molest them. *light bulb moment* Could you document the molesting? That'd be hot. Video camera, digital camera… *shrugs* Even a cell phone camera would work... Christ, I've watched too much porn. And shit, now you're bringing up corsets, too? I'll be dead before you know it.

MW: Oh honey, I've got my camera equipment all set up and ready to go! You just never know when you might need it... Of course, it's in my bedroom, though it is currently aimed at this swimming pool... *shrugs shoulders* What? Neighbor Guy had a new speedo he was trying out last night...and I thought I'd show him my new bikini...which isn't this one I'm currently sporting. I think he's still pulling shreds of that one from the pool filter... :D So, how does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?

Cara: Weird as hell. I’m humbled, and I can’t deny that it means very much to me. Not to mention it’s very encouraging. But it’s still very off for me because to me, I’m still learning English. I can admit I have a bit of an imagination, but it’s hard for me to grasp when someone says ‘well written’ or ‘beautifully written’ etc, etc.

MW: Ahhh, look how modest you are. It's kinda hot...not gonna lie.

Cara: *laughs* The irony is not lost on me. I can write filthy fucking and love it oh so much, and seriously, my mind is dirtier than... I don't know. My mind is on cocks pretty much *sigh* but I blush like a school girl at compliments.

MW: Well, when there are so many around, it's kinda hard to NOT think about cock all the time. Hey, if you were in a beauty pageant, what would your talent be?

Cara: Dirty talk.

MW: I shoulda guessed that, it makes sense. Although I suppose you could have gone with sucking on Blow Pops. That's what I'd probably do.

Cara: Don't start talking about sucking, ‘cause I only have that much restraint, and I'm trying to focus here! Which reminds me *smacks forehead* I've been too distracted here *looks around* But I need to change into my own bikini. *runs inside only to return a minute later* Stripping don't take much time. What do you think? *twirls to show the white barely-there bikini* Guys like innocent and coy, right?

MW: Oh yeah, innocent and coy are always good. Like I always say, men like a lady on their arm, and a whore in their bedroom. *snickers* Though I think most of these guys would happily take the whore in either place. *hee-hee* Maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part. Anyway, I've been curious about something... Which Twilight saga book is your favorite, and what's your opinion about Breaking Dawn?

Cara: Eh. Hard. Since I hate Jacob with every fiber of my being, I will be one of the few stating that Breaking Dawn is the best book. Back when I read the books, I loved them all very much, but today… now that I’ve read so many good fanfics, I have to say that SM should get in line to use Rob and Kristen. Lucky for her, she’s already been there.

My opinion on Breaking Dawn. I wish there was more action, and though I love a good Dadward, they could’ve skipped Nessie. *cough* And Bella could’ve killed Jake *cough*

MW: Ohhhhhh...Bella killing Jacob. I might have liked that. And seriously, is there a line for using Rob? ‘Cause I need to be in it. I mean, I have a HUGE stash of Rob porn...I think I mentioned that already. Whatever, I need to see the real thing!

Cara: RobPorn, now that’s a word we need to get into the fucking dictionary, ‘cause everyone should know what it is. *sigh* RobPorn is delicious, and ooooh, manips. Good God, I can kill for a naughty manip where you see Rob's pretty face and a beautiful and thick cock. See? Here I go again.

MW: Hmmmm, so I probably don't have to ask who your celebrity crush is, do I?

Cara: Seriously? Isn’t it obvious? Rob. ;)

MW: I had a feeling you'd say that. I'm hungry. Grab us whatever you like on the veggie tray over there, we can munch while we man watch.

Cara: Carrot sticks. YUM!!

MW: Oh geez, you're still thinking about cocks, aren't you? *watches CaraNo's eyes glaze over as she starts doing naughty things with her mouth to the poor, unsuspecting carrot sticks*

Cara: Random Hot Guy Watching Intently From A Few Lounge Chairs Over: Hmmm, you add a little dip to the end of that stick and it'll be like an orgasm in your mouth.

MW: I think they like you... *hee-hee* Now, before I totally lose you to the wonder that is you deep throating that carrot, if you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?

Cara: Read before you write. I read fanfics for a good six months before I thought of Fall & Rise. (I’m not counting in my BD-continuation here.)

MW: Good thinking. I like that idea. You're smart and sexy...nice combination.

Cara: Stop with the compliments. *haha* You're making me blush. Hmmm... Although, blushing is probably fitting with a white bikini and a coy smile. Keep going, the guys are approaching. *adds giggling and pigtails to the mix* Maybe I should put on my glasses, too. They are the Librarian-style after all. *sigh* I'm going too far, aren’t I? Shit.

MW: Oh yeah, boys like the librarian thing...the glasses, pencils skirts, and hair pulled up... Oh wait, my mom's a librarian. Ewwww. *shudders violently* Quick, I need to get my mind off that! If you could make smexy times with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?

Cara: Edward from Isla de Cullen, ‘cause he’s the man of my dreams.

MW: Ohhhh, that's so sweet. Although, I know you've told me before that he's a dirty, dirty boy, so maybe it's not so sweet... :D

Cara: Hahaha, no, he's not sweet. He's no boy either ;) A sexy man with a big cock, wicked tongue, skilled fingers, and dirty mouth... *shakes head to clear it* Sorry, I'll behave.

MW: Oh, I do love that combination of characteristics in a man... Hey, what's your favorite ALMOST curse word?

Cara: Since I wrote What’s Up, Doc? can I say Fudge?

MW: Heck yes, you can say that. We gotta keep the curse words to a minimum around here. My army of children and all... You know, Social Services really frowns upon the kids cursing like sailors when they come for their monthly inspections, I mean visits. Darn Mr. White and his whole "negligence" claims. Whatever.... Hey, I think Neighbor Guy's hot friend is trying to get your attention. He's splashing around in the pool acting like he's drowning or something...

Cara: *jumps into the pool and accidentally slips the tongue while giving mouth to mouth.... not that the guy was out or anything. S'called practice.*

MW: *cheers on the pool deck, yelling encouraging, sleazy comments to CaraNo, before reaching down and helping her out of the pool.* I'd offer you a towel but that bikini's a little see through...I think the guys like it. Ahhhh, the joy of white bikini's, huh?

Cara: Yeah, screw the towel. *grins*

MW: I like the way you think. Hey, I got a hot tub... Wonder how many of these boys we can lure over there? Before we go, I just gotta ask one thing...if Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Cara: Rob is yours, now go sit on him.

MW: Oh, if only. Hey, it's okay to straddle laps in Heaven, right?

Cara: It better be, otherwise, I'm not going. *huffs* It's sorta my idea of heaven, to straddle a hot guy. And if we straddle, more will fit...say, in your hot tub. Oooor...your bed. How big is it? Not that I mind crowded spaces ;)

MW: California King, baby. The biggest and the best. I say let's get a few of these guys in the hot tub and see exactly who is straddle worthy, then we'll pull them upstairs to my bedroom...have a little more fun. Try out that camera I have in there. Whatcha say to that?

Cara: Sounds perfect! *starts humming on Rihanna's “California King Bed” as she and Mrs. White start walking toward the hot tub, a line of muscley men following them* I actually have a story I'm writing on, based on a Rihanna song. But it's a slow ride until I've finished Our Yellow House…