Hello my lovelies! Ahhhhh, what a glorious summer day. The sun is high in the sky, half naked, wet bodies are glistening in the sunlight as they laze around Neighbor Guy's pool, and all the children are off registering themselves for school. Hmmmmm...blessed Back to School time. I love it so. You can't blame me, right? I need a break! The only thing that's gotten me through this summer are all the high quality pics of RPattz at Comic Con and fanfic. And let me tell you something, I found an amazing story. You're gonna love this.
Inside Man from ooza is the story of Bella Swan, a determined college girl whose professor encourages her to participate in the Write a Prisoner Program. After much debate, she finally decides to do it. Little does she know, the first profile she reads will change her life.
To the disapproval of her father, Bella sends off a letter to the mysterious Edward, having felt something when reading his words.
Edward Masen is a 34, almost 35, year old man in prison as a result of stupid choices he made in his youth. He's completely alone in the world, and starved for human companionship. Because he's up for parole soon, he's encouraged to participate in the Write a Prisoner Program, and what he gets makes him reevaluate his whole life up to that point.
So begins a friendship grown through letters written by two people with very different lives. They each see something in the other person, and their exchanges affect them in different ways. Edward hasn't had anyone to talk to, other than prisoners or prison staff, since he went to jail 10 years before. He hangs on every word that Bella writes, and he's quick to let her know exactly how much she means to him. He's also very realistic, knowing that she's a young woman who needs to be guarded when it comes to strange men. Especially ones that are prisoners at her local state prison.
Bella wants to help Edward and to provide him with the human contact that he's so obviously in need of. Her father Charlie, however, doesn't seem to agree with his daughter's idea on how she can help others. He isn't happy about her writing to Edward, but he supports her and helps her to be safe about doing it. As the friendship between Edward and Bella continues to grow, we start to see changes and shifts in it, leaving us to wonder where this is going? Will Edward's parole come through? Will Bella tell him anything about the man she's been dating on and off? Will Edward ever confess his past to Bella? And seriously, will Bella ever discover that Funfetti Frosting is available in chocolate as well as vanilla?
I love this story. As soon as I read the first couple of chapters, I was hooked! I love the style in which it's written. Each chapter, for the most part, is a letter from Edward or Bella. It's interesting to see them write back and forth and learn more about each other as they do. The connection that these two share is perfect. Each of them is looking for something, though so far only one seems to realize that. I love that ooza has included a few chapters with real life stuff, like phone calls and daddy/daughter talks. We also get to meet Bella's annoying, leaching friend Jacob, which is a fun chapter. It's nice to see the two of them tease and torment each other, and feel the lightheartedness between them. It's a nice contrast to the seriousness between Edward and Bella.
This story is incredible. I am SO completely enjoying it, and I can't wait to see what the author is going to do next, especially after the last chapter when Edward called Bella and they talked about... Well, you'll just have to read it for yourself to see. :D Oh, and hey...I have it on good authority that a new chapter is going up today, so run, don't walk, and read this story! It's wonderful, sweet, heartbreaking, and loving. Plus it might have you running to Prisoner Pen Pal websites in an effort to find your very own Inside Man!
Speaking of inside men...I think these freshly baked cookies that I paid the girl down the street to make will lure Neighbor Guy and his friends over to my house. I have air conditioning, and if I messed up those registration forms enough, the kids won't be home for hours! Party at the White's house!!
Mrs. White: Hey ooza! Thanks for coming over today. These cakes for the big prison bash aren't gonna make themselves.
ooza: You're right! And these saws aren't going to bake themselves into the cakes either.
MW: I know, right? :D Those cutie prisoners are so lucky to have us. I got some files, too. I figured they could go in the cupcakes. So, how did you get started in fan fic?
ooza: I kind of just stumbled across it one day. At first I was like, people like this? It's so lame but then I got sucked in and here I am!
MW: Oh, I know. Me too. I do love getting sucked into things... Oh hey, what color are your bedroom walls?
ooza: Creamy boringness.
MW: Creamy is always good. I'm thinking this frosting needs to be extra creamy, in case there are metal detectors. It might throw them off.
ooza: Hehehe you said cream.
MW: Hee-hee... I did. You know who else says cream? RPattz. I've heard him say it. It sounds sexy.
ooza: Ung, really? I've heard him say moist. He makes me moist.
MW: Hmmmmm...I wouldn't mind hearing him say that to me. Or about these cakes. Seriously, these are gonna be great! So, what’s the first story you read?
ooza: Wide Awake. Did I just say that? Moist? Shame on me.
MW: No shame when it comes to RPattz, honey. Or when RPattz comes... :) You liked Wide Awake?
ooza: Yeah, I liked the bad boy Edward. I though it was weird at first to read him smoking and swearing, but then I was like fuck yes!
MW: Yeah, I'm right there with you. Once I got used to that green leather jacket and him Wiki-ing stuff, I was all over it. :D Hey, have you ever played football?
Ooza: I think in gym class I pretended to play, does that count? Wide Awake got me hooked on angst, that's for sure.
MW: Nice. So we got Devil's Food and Angel Food cake going here. I thought those would be fitting for our bad boys behind bars. What do you think?
ooza: Very fitting. Wait, are we still putting weapons in the angel food?
MW: Of course. Maybe we can slip come pictures in there, too. I'm sure they'd enjoy those later on when they're tired of sawing away at the bars of their cells.
ooza: Nekkid pictures? I'll take yours if you take mine.
MW: Okay!! I've got a closet full of corsets and lacy things, too. We don't want to appear TOO easy... *hee-hee* So, what’s your favorite fan fic story and why?
ooza: There are so many good ones I hate to pick just one, but I have to go with And with Thee Fade Away by Derdriu oFaolain. The way she twists every facet of canon detail around and reinvents it is brilliant.
MW: Ohhhh, I haven't read that one, I might have to give it a go. You want something to drink? What's your favorite drink?
ooza: Anything with vodka.
MW: Is there really any drink that ISN'T good with extra vodka in it? :D
ooza: Most definitely not! Flavored vodka is especially yummy. Blueberry is my current vodka of choice.
MW: Hmmmm, that is a good one. Maybe we should add a little to these angel food cakes. Give them a little punch. Well, more than just what the saws and pictures give already. :D Speaking of coming up with ideas, how did you come up with the idea for your stories?
ooza: Most of them just came to me. Some have been floating around in my head for years. The exception is Here in the Garden of Sin, which was a culmination of everything I wanted in an AU story.
MW: Cool, that sounds fun. Hey, maybe later we can go float around in my Neighbor Guy's pool. I'm sure you brought your bikini. And even if you didn't, he doesn't mind naked floating. Plus it gives you a better tan, really.
ooza: No one wants tan lines. Wait, is he hot?
MW: Oh yeah, he's smokin' hot. As are his friends. And they're young, too. :) But he's good...I'm just saying. Hey, which Disney Princess most closely resembles you and why?
ooza: Princess Fiona. Wait, is that Disney?
MW: I don't know, but she's definitely a princess, so I'm thinking she totally counts. So, who is your favorite character to write?
ooza: Edward, definitely.
MW: Yeah, Edward's my favorite character to do anything with. Hmmmm, I wonder if he prefers Angel Food cake or Devil's Food cake? That's fun to think about.
ooza: I can imagine him eating Devil's Food while giving that "come fuck me" face as he eats it, kwim? Unf.
MW: Ugh...that's pretty much my fantasy right there. I wonder what else he'd eat? Sorry, gutter mind. Anyhow, so if you could be any other person in the world, who would you be and why?
ooza: I wouldn’t want to be anyone else. I’d be me, just a lot more awesome. (I know, it’s hard to believe I could get any awesomer.)
MW: It IS hard to imagine you as any more awesome. You're kinda great. I mean, look at the way you've whipped that frosting into shape. I'm very impressed. And your boobs look great when you're doing it, too. Just so you know.
ooza: That's why I never wear a bra when I cook. The girls have to look good. Do you think Neighbor Guy can see?
MW: I'm sure he can. I didn't install these huge kitchen windows that overlook his backyard for nothing. I do like to cook naked, after all. So, how did you meet and get your beta?
ooza: I met my beta, IngenueFic, in Vegas. Twilight related reasons.
MW: Hmmmmm, Vegas... That's a fun town. Sounds like you had a good time. :)
ooza: She's one of my best buddies now. Not a day goes by when we don't chat. It was a blasty blast. Sin City and all. :o
MW: Ahhhhh, that's so sweet. :) Hey, what's your favorite flavor of ice cream? We should probably send some along with all these cakes. Plus we can hide more contraband in the containers.
ooza: Birthday Cake, but lately the only thing I can find is Party Cake, and chunks of cake in my ice cream… blech. Better than chunks of saws and files I suppose.
MW: So true. It really sucks when you bite down on that big old chunk of metal. Ew. So, how does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?
ooza: I love it when people gush over my stories. It’s fun to be able to write something that gets a good reaction. When people gush over me it’s kind of odd. I’m just me.
MW: Oh, you're so much more than just you. I mean, you're rockin' those Daisy Dukes today. And seriously, how many women can bake in 6 inch heels? It's even a challenge for me.
ooza: I can do anything in heels. And I mean anything.
MW: Good to know... *winks at ooza* So, speaking of anything , if you could make smexy times with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?
ooza: I would make smexy times with Adore, Adore Edward because he’s got a lot of crazy shit up his sleeve.
MW: Wow, that's saying a lot because you have some seriously hot Edward's in your stories.
ooza: Why thank you. Edward is hot even when he's a tad bit evil. ;)
MW: Yeah, that's true. :) So, I just gotta ask, which Twilight saga book is your favorite? And what’s your opinion on Breaking Dawn?
ooza: The newness of Bella and Edward’s relationship in Twilight is great, but Eclipse is my favorite. I was happy with Breaking Dawn, although I could have gone without the whole baby thing. Before I read it, I said as long as they (1) get married, (2) bang, and (3) Bella becomes a vampire, I’d be happy. It was entertaining, and that’s all I could ask for. A lot of people said they didn’t like the change to Jacob’s perspective, but I thought it was refreshing to see Edward through a different set of eyes. Also, I like seeing him emo and tortured, so the whole burning man thing made me happy. I really hope that is portrayed well in the movie. *crosses fingers*
MW: I totally agree with you. It's like you're reading my mind. Hey, what's your favorite kind of car?
ooza: One that goes fast.
MW: Yeah, I can see that you like things that go fast. *hee-hee*
ooza: Fast and hard. Wait, what are we talking about again?
MW: *snickers* Fast and hard... I don't remember what we were talking about. Oh! I think the cakes are done. We should probably leave them to cool before we frost them. It might be time for a swim...
ooza: We're skinny dipping, yes? *strips off shirt*
MW: You know it! I gotta show off my lack of tan lines. Plus I see Neighbor Guy in his bedroom window with his binoculars. He'll love this. So, if you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?
ooza: Get a good beta. There are things you’re doing wrong and you don’t even know it.
MW: So true. Here, you can lay on this floaty thing. Arch your back just a bit and you'll really give Neighbor Guy a good show.
ooza: Like this? Does it make my boobs look good?
MW: Seriously, yeah. Nice. I think he's on the phone, calling over his friends. This could be a very good afternoon. Hey! If you were in a beauty pageant, what would your talent be?
ooza: If awkwardness were a talent, that would be mine.
MW: Well, if the whole awkwardness thing didn't work out, you could totally do squishing your boobs together. You're kinda awesome at that. Even I'm getting turned on, I can't imagine what Neighbor Guy is thinking.
ooza: I have a pretty good idea of what he's thinking…
MW: *giggles like a school girl* Yeah, me too. So, since he's obviously on his way down here, what is your favorite part about fan fic and the Twilight fandom?
ooza: I like people, but I’m a loner. I like that there’s this whole little community that’s always around whenever I pop in, and we keep feeding one another’s addiction to Twilight in a never-ending fanfic circle.
MW: Yeah, the people are kinda wonderful. Oh, how did you choose your username? It's so interesting.
ooza: I wanted Palooza but it was taken on FFn already.
MW: Nice. Hmmmm, sounds like a car full of guys just pulled up. This afternoon's looking to get a little more wild. Neighbor Guy's got some hot friends...just sayin'. So, what is your favorite ALMOST curse word?
ooza: Almost curse word? I have the filthiest mouth. About the only censored thing I say is jeebus.
MW: Oh, these boys are gonna love you. :D Okay, so before they all drop their shorts and hop in the pool with us, I got one more question. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
ooza: Mr. Pattinson is inside, and he’s waiting for you.
MW: Hmmmmm, what a glorious thought... Oh! Look at all those pretty boys coming our way. I've never seen them strip so fast before. Tell you what, since you're the guest, I'll let you have first choice. Ah heck, you can have second choice, too.
ooza: Mmm I get two? Lettuce see. Such a… hard… choice. Which will be my Inside Man?
Inside Man from ooza is the story of Bella Swan, a determined college girl whose professor encourages her to participate in the Write a Prisoner Program. After much debate, she finally decides to do it. Little does she know, the first profile she reads will change her life.
*****
Edward Masen #15604091
Waterview State Correctional Facility
About Me
Race: Caucasian
Religion: N/A
Date of Birth: 6/20/1974
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Height: 6'2"
Seeking Donations: No
Sex: Male
HomeTown: Chicago, IL
Astrological Sign: Gemini
Correspond Overseas: Yes
Seeking Legal Help: No
Seeking Prayer Partners: No
Marital Status: Single
Profile Type: Personal
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Seeking Education: No
Incarceration
Earliest Release Date: 2009
Latest Release Date: 2013
On Death Row: No
Incarcerated Since: 1998
Serving Life Sentence: No
Incarcerated For: Assault, Robbery, Possession
Hello,
I am creating this profile in hopes of finding someone who will write to me. I'm up for parole later this year, and my counselor suggested this program as a way to lift my spirits and practice communicating with people on the outside.
I have a Bachelor's degree in music and have spent a lot of time composing over the past 11 years. Creating music is what I've missed the most while here.
I've made a lot of stupid choices in my life that I can't take back, but I'm trying to be a good man now. I'm usually a happy person, but sometimes the loneliness of incarceration is overwhelming. I need a friend.
Thank you for reading my profile. I look forward to hearing from someone soon.
Respectfully,
Edward Masen
*****
Edward Masen #15604091
Waterview State Correctional Facility
About Me
Race: Caucasian
Religion: N/A
Date of Birth: 6/20/1974
Eyes: Green
Hair: Brown
Height: 6'2"
Seeking Donations: No
Sex: Male
HomeTown: Chicago, IL
Astrological Sign: Gemini
Correspond Overseas: Yes
Seeking Legal Help: No
Seeking Prayer Partners: No
Marital Status: Single
Profile Type: Personal
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Seeking Education: No
Incarceration
Earliest Release Date: 2009
Latest Release Date: 2013
On Death Row: No
Incarcerated Since: 1998
Serving Life Sentence: No
Incarcerated For: Assault, Robbery, Possession
Hello,
I am creating this profile in hopes of finding someone who will write to me. I'm up for parole later this year, and my counselor suggested this program as a way to lift my spirits and practice communicating with people on the outside.
I have a Bachelor's degree in music and have spent a lot of time composing over the past 11 years. Creating music is what I've missed the most while here.
I've made a lot of stupid choices in my life that I can't take back, but I'm trying to be a good man now. I'm usually a happy person, but sometimes the loneliness of incarceration is overwhelming. I need a friend.
Thank you for reading my profile. I look forward to hearing from someone soon.
Respectfully,
Edward Masen
*****
To the disapproval of her father, Bella sends off a letter to the mysterious Edward, having felt something when reading his words.
Edward Masen is a 34, almost 35, year old man in prison as a result of stupid choices he made in his youth. He's completely alone in the world, and starved for human companionship. Because he's up for parole soon, he's encouraged to participate in the Write a Prisoner Program, and what he gets makes him reevaluate his whole life up to that point.
*****
Edward Masen #15604091
Waterview State Correctional Facility
June 1, 2009
Dear Mr. Masen,
I hope this letter finds you in good spirits and good health.
My name is Isabella. I've just finished my junior year at the University of Washington and am taking a few summer courses to lighten next year's load. My professor suggested I participate in the write a prisoner program. Don't worry—I promise not to psychoanalyze you or anything like that. I am doing this for the sole purpose of connecting with someone I otherwise wouldn't have exposure to and by doing so hopefully making our community a better place.
A little bit about me: I'm 21 years old. I've lived in Washington for the past three years but grew up in the southwest. The change in climate was quite a culture shock! I'll be graduating (hopefully) next spring with a Bachelor's degree in Psychology and have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do with it. Music sounds much more interesting, and I'd love to hear more about it. In fact, I'll be here to listen to anything you're comfortable talking about.
I'm not sure what else to say, but I'd love to learn more about you. Please send any correspondence to the address listed below.
Best wishes,
Isabella
c/o Student Services
Department of Psychology
University of Washington
*****
Edward Masen #15604091
Waterview State Correctional Facility
June 1, 2009
Dear Mr. Masen,
I hope this letter finds you in good spirits and good health.
My name is Isabella. I've just finished my junior year at the University of Washington and am taking a few summer courses to lighten next year's load. My professor suggested I participate in the write a prisoner program. Don't worry—I promise not to psychoanalyze you or anything like that. I am doing this for the sole purpose of connecting with someone I otherwise wouldn't have exposure to and by doing so hopefully making our community a better place.
A little bit about me: I'm 21 years old. I've lived in Washington for the past three years but grew up in the southwest. The change in climate was quite a culture shock! I'll be graduating (hopefully) next spring with a Bachelor's degree in Psychology and have absolutely no idea what I'm going to do with it. Music sounds much more interesting, and I'd love to hear more about it. In fact, I'll be here to listen to anything you're comfortable talking about.
I'm not sure what else to say, but I'd love to learn more about you. Please send any correspondence to the address listed below.
Best wishes,
Isabella
c/o Student Services
Department of Psychology
University of Washington
*****
So begins a friendship grown through letters written by two people with very different lives. They each see something in the other person, and their exchanges affect them in different ways. Edward hasn't had anyone to talk to, other than prisoners or prison staff, since he went to jail 10 years before. He hangs on every word that Bella writes, and he's quick to let her know exactly how much she means to him. He's also very realistic, knowing that she's a young woman who needs to be guarded when it comes to strange men. Especially ones that are prisoners at her local state prison.
Bella wants to help Edward and to provide him with the human contact that he's so obviously in need of. Her father Charlie, however, doesn't seem to agree with his daughter's idea on how she can help others. He isn't happy about her writing to Edward, but he supports her and helps her to be safe about doing it. As the friendship between Edward and Bella continues to grow, we start to see changes and shifts in it, leaving us to wonder where this is going? Will Edward's parole come through? Will Bella tell him anything about the man she's been dating on and off? Will Edward ever confess his past to Bella? And seriously, will Bella ever discover that Funfetti Frosting is available in chocolate as well as vanilla?
I love this story. As soon as I read the first couple of chapters, I was hooked! I love the style in which it's written. Each chapter, for the most part, is a letter from Edward or Bella. It's interesting to see them write back and forth and learn more about each other as they do. The connection that these two share is perfect. Each of them is looking for something, though so far only one seems to realize that. I love that ooza has included a few chapters with real life stuff, like phone calls and daddy/daughter talks. We also get to meet Bella's annoying, leaching friend Jacob, which is a fun chapter. It's nice to see the two of them tease and torment each other, and feel the lightheartedness between them. It's a nice contrast to the seriousness between Edward and Bella.
This story is incredible. I am SO completely enjoying it, and I can't wait to see what the author is going to do next, especially after the last chapter when Edward called Bella and they talked about... Well, you'll just have to read it for yourself to see. :D Oh, and hey...I have it on good authority that a new chapter is going up today, so run, don't walk, and read this story! It's wonderful, sweet, heartbreaking, and loving. Plus it might have you running to Prisoner Pen Pal websites in an effort to find your very own Inside Man!
Speaking of inside men...I think these freshly baked cookies that I paid the girl down the street to make will lure Neighbor Guy and his friends over to my house. I have air conditioning, and if I messed up those registration forms enough, the kids won't be home for hours! Party at the White's house!!
Mrs. White: Hey ooza! Thanks for coming over today. These cakes for the big prison bash aren't gonna make themselves.
ooza: You're right! And these saws aren't going to bake themselves into the cakes either.
MW: I know, right? :D Those cutie prisoners are so lucky to have us. I got some files, too. I figured they could go in the cupcakes. So, how did you get started in fan fic?
ooza: I kind of just stumbled across it one day. At first I was like, people like this? It's so lame but then I got sucked in and here I am!
MW: Oh, I know. Me too. I do love getting sucked into things... Oh hey, what color are your bedroom walls?
ooza: Creamy boringness.
MW: Creamy is always good. I'm thinking this frosting needs to be extra creamy, in case there are metal detectors. It might throw them off.
ooza: Hehehe you said cream.
MW: Hee-hee... I did. You know who else says cream? RPattz. I've heard him say it. It sounds sexy.
ooza: Ung, really? I've heard him say moist. He makes me moist.
MW: Hmmmmm...I wouldn't mind hearing him say that to me. Or about these cakes. Seriously, these are gonna be great! So, what’s the first story you read?
ooza: Wide Awake. Did I just say that? Moist? Shame on me.
MW: No shame when it comes to RPattz, honey. Or when RPattz comes... :) You liked Wide Awake?
ooza: Yeah, I liked the bad boy Edward. I though it was weird at first to read him smoking and swearing, but then I was like fuck yes!
MW: Yeah, I'm right there with you. Once I got used to that green leather jacket and him Wiki-ing stuff, I was all over it. :D Hey, have you ever played football?
Ooza: I think in gym class I pretended to play, does that count? Wide Awake got me hooked on angst, that's for sure.
MW: Nice. So we got Devil's Food and Angel Food cake going here. I thought those would be fitting for our bad boys behind bars. What do you think?
ooza: Very fitting. Wait, are we still putting weapons in the angel food?
MW: Of course. Maybe we can slip come pictures in there, too. I'm sure they'd enjoy those later on when they're tired of sawing away at the bars of their cells.
ooza: Nekkid pictures? I'll take yours if you take mine.
MW: Okay!! I've got a closet full of corsets and lacy things, too. We don't want to appear TOO easy... *hee-hee* So, what’s your favorite fan fic story and why?
ooza: There are so many good ones I hate to pick just one, but I have to go with And with Thee Fade Away by Derdriu oFaolain. The way she twists every facet of canon detail around and reinvents it is brilliant.
MW: Ohhhh, I haven't read that one, I might have to give it a go. You want something to drink? What's your favorite drink?
ooza: Anything with vodka.
MW: Is there really any drink that ISN'T good with extra vodka in it? :D
ooza: Most definitely not! Flavored vodka is especially yummy. Blueberry is my current vodka of choice.
MW: Hmmmm, that is a good one. Maybe we should add a little to these angel food cakes. Give them a little punch. Well, more than just what the saws and pictures give already. :D Speaking of coming up with ideas, how did you come up with the idea for your stories?
ooza: Most of them just came to me. Some have been floating around in my head for years. The exception is Here in the Garden of Sin, which was a culmination of everything I wanted in an AU story.
MW: Cool, that sounds fun. Hey, maybe later we can go float around in my Neighbor Guy's pool. I'm sure you brought your bikini. And even if you didn't, he doesn't mind naked floating. Plus it gives you a better tan, really.
ooza: No one wants tan lines. Wait, is he hot?
MW: Oh yeah, he's smokin' hot. As are his friends. And they're young, too. :) But he's good...I'm just saying. Hey, which Disney Princess most closely resembles you and why?
ooza: Princess Fiona. Wait, is that Disney?
MW: I don't know, but she's definitely a princess, so I'm thinking she totally counts. So, who is your favorite character to write?
ooza: Edward, definitely.
MW: Yeah, Edward's my favorite character to do anything with. Hmmmm, I wonder if he prefers Angel Food cake or Devil's Food cake? That's fun to think about.
ooza: I can imagine him eating Devil's Food while giving that "come fuck me" face as he eats it, kwim? Unf.
MW: Ugh...that's pretty much my fantasy right there. I wonder what else he'd eat? Sorry, gutter mind. Anyhow, so if you could be any other person in the world, who would you be and why?
ooza: I wouldn’t want to be anyone else. I’d be me, just a lot more awesome. (I know, it’s hard to believe I could get any awesomer.)
MW: It IS hard to imagine you as any more awesome. You're kinda great. I mean, look at the way you've whipped that frosting into shape. I'm very impressed. And your boobs look great when you're doing it, too. Just so you know.
ooza: That's why I never wear a bra when I cook. The girls have to look good. Do you think Neighbor Guy can see?
MW: I'm sure he can. I didn't install these huge kitchen windows that overlook his backyard for nothing. I do like to cook naked, after all. So, how did you meet and get your beta?
ooza: I met my beta, IngenueFic, in Vegas. Twilight related reasons.
MW: Hmmmmm, Vegas... That's a fun town. Sounds like you had a good time. :)
ooza: She's one of my best buddies now. Not a day goes by when we don't chat. It was a blasty blast. Sin City and all. :o
MW: Ahhhhh, that's so sweet. :) Hey, what's your favorite flavor of ice cream? We should probably send some along with all these cakes. Plus we can hide more contraband in the containers.
ooza: Birthday Cake, but lately the only thing I can find is Party Cake, and chunks of cake in my ice cream… blech. Better than chunks of saws and files I suppose.
MW: So true. It really sucks when you bite down on that big old chunk of metal. Ew. So, how does it make you feel when people gush over you and your stories?
ooza: I love it when people gush over my stories. It’s fun to be able to write something that gets a good reaction. When people gush over me it’s kind of odd. I’m just me.
MW: Oh, you're so much more than just you. I mean, you're rockin' those Daisy Dukes today. And seriously, how many women can bake in 6 inch heels? It's even a challenge for me.
ooza: I can do anything in heels. And I mean anything.
MW: Good to know... *winks at ooza* So, speaking of anything , if you could make smexy times with any character from one of your stories, who would it be and why?
ooza: I would make smexy times with Adore, Adore Edward because he’s got a lot of crazy shit up his sleeve.
MW: Wow, that's saying a lot because you have some seriously hot Edward's in your stories.
ooza: Why thank you. Edward is hot even when he's a tad bit evil. ;)
MW: Yeah, that's true. :) So, I just gotta ask, which Twilight saga book is your favorite? And what’s your opinion on Breaking Dawn?
ooza: The newness of Bella and Edward’s relationship in Twilight is great, but Eclipse is my favorite. I was happy with Breaking Dawn, although I could have gone without the whole baby thing. Before I read it, I said as long as they (1) get married, (2) bang, and (3) Bella becomes a vampire, I’d be happy. It was entertaining, and that’s all I could ask for. A lot of people said they didn’t like the change to Jacob’s perspective, but I thought it was refreshing to see Edward through a different set of eyes. Also, I like seeing him emo and tortured, so the whole burning man thing made me happy. I really hope that is portrayed well in the movie. *crosses fingers*
MW: I totally agree with you. It's like you're reading my mind. Hey, what's your favorite kind of car?
ooza: One that goes fast.
MW: Yeah, I can see that you like things that go fast. *hee-hee*
ooza: Fast and hard. Wait, what are we talking about again?
MW: *snickers* Fast and hard... I don't remember what we were talking about. Oh! I think the cakes are done. We should probably leave them to cool before we frost them. It might be time for a swim...
ooza: We're skinny dipping, yes? *strips off shirt*
MW: You know it! I gotta show off my lack of tan lines. Plus I see Neighbor Guy in his bedroom window with his binoculars. He'll love this. So, if you could give one piece of advice to a new author, what would it be?
ooza: Get a good beta. There are things you’re doing wrong and you don’t even know it.
MW: So true. Here, you can lay on this floaty thing. Arch your back just a bit and you'll really give Neighbor Guy a good show.
ooza: Like this? Does it make my boobs look good?
MW: Seriously, yeah. Nice. I think he's on the phone, calling over his friends. This could be a very good afternoon. Hey! If you were in a beauty pageant, what would your talent be?
ooza: If awkwardness were a talent, that would be mine.
MW: Well, if the whole awkwardness thing didn't work out, you could totally do squishing your boobs together. You're kinda awesome at that. Even I'm getting turned on, I can't imagine what Neighbor Guy is thinking.
ooza: I have a pretty good idea of what he's thinking…
MW: *giggles like a school girl* Yeah, me too. So, since he's obviously on his way down here, what is your favorite part about fan fic and the Twilight fandom?
ooza: I like people, but I’m a loner. I like that there’s this whole little community that’s always around whenever I pop in, and we keep feeding one another’s addiction to Twilight in a never-ending fanfic circle.
MW: Yeah, the people are kinda wonderful. Oh, how did you choose your username? It's so interesting.
ooza: I wanted Palooza but it was taken on FFn already.
MW: Nice. Hmmmm, sounds like a car full of guys just pulled up. This afternoon's looking to get a little more wild. Neighbor Guy's got some hot friends...just sayin'. So, what is your favorite ALMOST curse word?
ooza: Almost curse word? I have the filthiest mouth. About the only censored thing I say is jeebus.
MW: Oh, these boys are gonna love you. :D Okay, so before they all drop their shorts and hop in the pool with us, I got one more question. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
ooza: Mr. Pattinson is inside, and he’s waiting for you.
MW: Hmmmmm, what a glorious thought... Oh! Look at all those pretty boys coming our way. I've never seen them strip so fast before. Tell you what, since you're the guest, I'll let you have first choice. Ah heck, you can have second choice, too.
ooza: Mmm I get two? Lettuce see. Such a… hard… choice. Which will be my Inside Man?
Ima peeing! Luv these kind of interviews!!!!
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