Throwback Thursday! Mrs. Peacock is Smoking in the Boy's Room with CorrinaTTF!

Today we're going back over a year ago and bringing you a rec from Mrs. Peacock!

Let’s talk about U S T. Let’s talk about you and me. Let’s talk about all the good things and the bad things…

Hold up. Bad things? I can’t think of one person that hasn’t enjoyed a little unresolved sexual tension from time to time. You know the feeling. The electricity. The frustration that feels oh so good. The feeling like you’re going to combust. Seriously, there are no bad things when it comes to UST, none at all, which is why Smoking in the Boy’s Room must be on your fan fic radar. Sweet baby jeebus this fic is wrought with UST and as much as I growl to CorrinaTFF when I leave my reviews for her chapters, secretly I love it. Just don’t tell her because then I’ll lose my cred.

I can totally relate to her Bella. Bella wants out. Period. She doesn’t date, doesn’t want to end up in Forks, she wants to see what’s out there so she doesn’t play the game. Until he comes to town. Still, she’s determined to get out of Forks and Edward was not going to stand in her way.

I had one mission left in my teenage years and that was to get the hell out of Forks and everything associated with it as soon as I graduated. Edward Cullen would not hold me back.

That’s right, Edward shows up and Bella’s plans start to fall apart or do they?

Edward doesn’t want to be in Forks. He is forced to move from Chicago with his parents, Ed and Elizabeth (Lizzy) and is not thrilled with the idea. Until he meets Bella.

When I sat that close to her, I was able to see how beautiful she really was. She had the most amazing chocolate brown eyes. Her hair was a dark chestnut, but with the sun behind her it looked as though she had red streaks running through.

"It's nice meeting you, E." I could still feel the charge in the air as I looked at her blushing face as she stared down at her pizza slice. Fuck me! I think I just heard a nickname I actually fucking like.

And so it begins. Boy meets girl. Girl meets boy. Parents and extended family get involved, paths cross and in typical High School fashion, there is miscommunication out the wazoo. The friends word is tossed around like a football and both Edward and Bella tiptoe along this unspoken line of ‘are we or aren’t we, do we or don’t we’. It is magically delicious, scrumptious even, if not a little maddening. You find yourself alternating between gritting your teeth and fanning yourself during every chapter as the two dance around each other while the usual suspects watch and scheme. So so good.

We were watching the movie, and I got the chills when I saw this old guy just appear out of nowhere, informing the dad that he had an offer on the place. I nervously glanced over at Edward and found that his brow was furrowed, as if he were trying to figure things out. I went back to watching the movie, but screeched when the crows started attacking the farmer. I heard Edward laugh from his corner of the couch and tossed a pillow at him in a playful gesture.

"Fuck, Bella! You scream like a girl." He tucked the pillow under his arm.

"Well, no shit, E! I am a girl, you idget!" I reached behind me to grab another pillow to toss.

"What the fuck is an idget? Did you make that shit up?" God, his smile was beautiful!

I rolled my eyes. "Just watch the movie, Cullen."

Just as he started to get into the movie again, I tossed the pillow I was holding at his head. He looked at me, a bit in shock, and then I saw the biggest grin spread across his face.

"You really shouldn't have done that." My eyes went wide when I saw him sidle up, one knee on the couch, his other leg extended to the floor, arms bent at the elbows and his hands in the shape of claws.

"You wouldn't dare!" I screeched.

"Wouldn't I?" If I moved, I was sure to hurt myself. I could try to run, but how far could I have gotten on my ankle?

He was inching his way closer; my only way out was to threaten him. "Cullen, you better sit your ass back on your side of the couch or I'll…"

"You'll what, Swan?" He interrupted with that damn sexy smirk, and his eyebrow cocked playfully as he moved in closer.

Just then, the door burst open and Edward was instantly back in his corner of the couch, leaning into the arm as far away from me as he could get.

"Ugh! Why did you two have to leave so early? And, why didn't I know it?" Alice! Shit, I had forgotten to text her. She looked at me, then at Edward, and got this gleam in her eye that could only be described as devious. Her voice sweetened, "Edward, can you scoot closer to Belly so that Jasper can have the corner? I like to lean into him." I narrowed my eyes at Alice and shot invisible daggers at the devious, little sprite. Edward scooted into the spot next to me as Jasper and Alice took their new spot. Why he didn't take one of the chairs, I couldn't have guessed.

Originally written as a one-shot for the Naughty Heels Anonymous 80s contest, CorinnaTFF decided to expand Smoking in the Boys Room and it is currently 10 chapters long with more to come. It is the perfect blend of comedy and romance and yes, UST, so do yourself a favor and check it out.

Mrs. Peacock: How did you get started with Fan Fiction?

CorrinaTFF: My 17 year old sister of all people got me reading it. Of all people. LOL As far as writing it... a whim. I saw a contest and entered. I still can't figure out if it was brave or nuts.

Mrs. Peacock: I’m curious how that came up...I'm too chicken to admit I read it to anybody else

CorrinaTFF: She literally had to force me to read Twilight. I know I may get kicked for that one, but it's the truth. I had so much fun with the books that when she mentioned fanfiction, I figured what the hell.

Mrs. Peacock: What are your top 5 favorite fan fiction stories you’ve read?

CorrinaTFF: Oh crap... That's a hard one. I have so many that I love for different reasons. I am an angst h00r and there are some good writers out there for that. But then I love the humor... this is so hard. I love love love @kharizzmatik's Emancipation Proclamation. I get lost in @EdwardsBloodTpe's High Anxiety. Those are both super angsty, but I love them.

Then there are some lesser known stories that have captured me...I am anxiously awaiting an update to JulieButterly's "The UnderGraduate" and I am going out on a limb for the slash readers ...Shoefreak37's "Tracking Redemption" It is complete. But I can’t really name my top 5 ... I just drop everything to read those. There are so many I love to read.

Mrs. Peacock: Do you have any recommendations for our readers? This is different from favorites...

CorrinaTFF: Chasing Victory by @mpg82 I love RaceCarEdward. You Should Know by @Tiffanyanne3FF I really hate her Jake...almost as much as mine. Maybe more.

Blossom by @ms_ambrosia. A Beautiful Mess by @Risbee and @Coldplaywhore -- B&E just got over their UST so squee and Almost Doesn't Count by @Mrs_Robward for a good Daddyward

Mrs. Peacock: You know I love that one :)

CorrinaTFF : It's a good one. I did want to kick Mike Newton in the junk quite a few times

Mrs. Peacock: Oh I know...I get angry in most fics, and usually at Mike or Jacob or Jessica, but that one evoked some pretty visceral reactions from me.

CorrinaTFF: I completely get it.

Mrs. Peacock: If you had to mismatch the canon pairings who would you put with whom?

CorrinaTFF: Hmm... I will probably be beheaded for this, but I would put Edward with Alice and Bella with Emmett. Edward and Alice just get each other, ya know? And I really think Emmett could get Bella to loosen up and enjoy life.

Mrs. Peacock: Interesting... *shudders thinking about Edward and Alice*

CorrinaTFF: I know I know! LOL But they really do have that bond and it could grow into something... I'm sure. Mostly.

Mrs. Peacock: On a related note, are there any pairings that drive you crazy?

CorrinaTFF: I'm willing to give any pairing a shot because I don't believe in things always being cookie cutter. Life just isn't that way. But Esme with Edward... *shivers* She’s too motherly for any of them.

Mrs. Peacock: Oooooh good answer...and I totally agree. That's even more squickish than E/A

CorrinaTFF: She's too much of a mommy figure for them. I mean I get that Carlisle is the Dad, but that man has some years on him. I could see him gettin' freaky! Or is that just a dream I have? Hmm...

Mrs. Peacock: I don’t know...but it’s a dream I'll have tonight ;)

CorrinaTFF: LOL Peter Facinelli owns me. That is all. I blame him.

Mrs. Peacock What is your craziest fan encounter or review?

CorrinaTFF: LOL OMG I have had no fan encounters yet. I have so many crazy reviews I can't even tell you. This last update, I thought for sure people were going to lynch me for a scene I wrote with Jacob. For the most part the reviewers have been very kind. Don't get me wrong...I have a few that are pissed. I've gotten PMs, but it is the author's story to write. The reader doesn't know where the story is going and making demands is just silly.

Mrs. Peacock: Exactly! I may not agree with something, but it’s not mine and I don’t know what the author has planned. That's why I try to avoid spoilers. I don’t like to know anything ahead of time.

CorrinaTFF: Are you saying you don't like to be teased? LOL Or are you talking about the tweets while reading?

Mrs. Peacock: Teasers I don’t really mind because they don’t give the plot away really...they just tease. Obviously LOL

CorrinaTFF: I have an end game in place for SITBR, but sometimes the in between shifts. I wrote some chapters months ago, but the story took a different direction in some cases and I think it's actually gotten better. I don't see the advantage in revealing anything to anyone.

Mrs. Peacock: Do any of your real life friends know you write fanfiction? If yes, what is the typical reaction? If no, what do you think would happen if your two worlds collided?

CorrinaTFF: They didn't know until just this last week! I love my husband, but he gossips more than any teenage girl ever could. He's very supportive of my writing, and he wanted to share. So he told two sets of our married friends. They are now reading all of my stories. I told them not to tell me what they thought because I didn't want to have to worry about defending my choices. Its one thing to defend your thought processes to someone you know, but the anonymity the fanfiction world provides is sometimes more freeing. Did that make sense?

Mrs. Peacock: Absolutely. I totally get you.

CorrinaTFF: Whew! Okay I feel better now LOL

Mrs. Peacock: LOL I told you I'd be gentle ;)

Mrs. Peacock: What are some things you tend to steer away from when writing a story?

CorrinaTFF: I don't know that I have run into anything as of yet besides the obvious. Well, I guess it would be obvious to me. Usually the basic things people can't stomach--like a rape scene in its entirety. Oh! I cannot write slash. I just can't ... although; I recently learned never say never when writing... so I will say I haven't pressed that far yet.

Mrs. Peacock: If you could beat the shit out of one Twilight character, from the book or movie, which would it be? How would you do it and why?

CorrinaTFF: Jacob. Seriously, the kid just can't take a hint. A beating might be strong, but I definitely think he deserves quite a few thwaps to the back of the head Jethro Gibbs-style. How many times does a girl have to tell you, "I just want to be friends"? Oooh on that note...Mike Newton. Same reason.

Mrs. Peacock: What is your favorite curse word?

CorrinaTFF : Fuck. Fucking. Fucktard. Fucker. Fuckawesome. It's just fun to say. Button-flyward says it a lot! I think that's how I get my release. He allows me that much.

Mrs. Peacock. So why the 80s contest? Why that song? What was your inspiration?

CorrinaTFF: It's so funny. I was reading I Get Off by Britpacksuccubus (love her) and listening to my favorite DJs on blip.fm; Smoking in the Boys' Room came on and it just kinda clicked for me. I don't know how really, but it all started with Bella and Edward there. I just pictured it and put it to paper immediately. I had heard about the contest prior to that and I thought it was interesting. I am a kid from the 80s--gah I'm old--and I was into the glam bands. Besides, it's Motley Crue... come on!

Mrs. Peacock: Ahhhh back in the day when MTV showed videos ;)

CorrinaTFF: No doubt! Now they have all the reality TV bs. *eyeroll*

Mrs. Peacock: I used to really REALLY want to be one of the girls in the ZZTop Legs video LOL

CorrinaTFF: LOL Didn't we all??

Mrs. Peacock: Now I just want to be the girl they come make over LOL But I’d settle for being on What Not to Wear.

CorrinaTFF: Oh I don't know about that. I think they get it wrong sometimes. I'd hate to be the one they get it wrong with! LOL

Mrs. Peacock: But I really want to hang out with Clinton.

CorrinaTFF: I totally understand that.

Mrs. Peacock: Favorite 80s video?

CorrinaTFF: OH NO! Hmmmm . It's corny.

Mrs. Peacock: The 80s were corny.

CorrinaTFF: I know it's so simple but something about the women behind him playing the guitars...

Mrs. Peacock: Bwahahahaha I know which one it is!

CorrinaTFF: LOL Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love" I feel like I should duck and hide LOL

Mrs. Peacock: So what did you think when Brenda, Donna and Kelly did it on 90210. Well, the appearance anyway…the song was different once Emily Valentine got involved.

CorrinaTFF: I wanted to cuntpunch 'em. Not gonna lie, they nearly ruined it for me. LOL

Mrs. Peacock: LOL...for whatever reason I just had a flashback to the Saved by the Bell Episode where Jessie takes the diet pills... "I’m so excited, I'm so excited, I’m so......scared" So...Zack or AC Slater? And if you say Screech, this interview is over

CorrinaTFF: LMFAO I liked Zack ... the bad boy/class clown. I always did like the jokers more than the jocks

Mrs. Peacock: Well you know what they say about a man and the size of his cell phone LOL

CorrinaTFF: LOL it must be Kellan Lutz?

Mrs. Peacock: **makes mental note to go find that gif of him running when this is over**

Did you ever have an OMG moment in the fandom? Like someone reviewed you or recommended you and you literally squeed?

CorrinaTFF: Both times ... and now. LOL @RachelMFZ felt compelled to post me on her blog. Then @kellyprovence from @Twificpromotion ... and now being interviewed by Mrs. Peacock herself.... squee

Mrs. Peacock: If there was one fan fiction author you could switch places with for a day, who would it be and why?

CorrinaTFF: Is it weird that I would say no one? I see the triumphs and struggles of others, but I really do enjoy my readers too much. I love every last one of them, because they keep me going. Even the pushy ones. LOL. By the way…here ya go....http://twitpic.com/174j7p

Mrs. Peacock: Oh sweet jeebus

CorrinaTFF: LOL You're welcome.

Mrs. Peacock: What story do you HAVE to read the moment you see an update?

CorrinaTFF: Gah ... right now I have two because they are at critical points in the story.... Freeze Frame by Jewels64 and Emancipation Proclamation by Kharizzmatik

Mrs. Peacock: Ok...one last question... *trying to think of something completely spectacular*

Favorite New Kid?

CorrinaTFF: Favorite New Kid?

Mrs. Peacock: Oh please...you know you know all the words to Hangin' Tough. I had the Cassingle.

CorrinaTFF: This is another one of those questions that could get me killed ... but...I love Donnie. Haha. Always have.

Mrs. Peacock: Hey, as long as it wasn't the one that looked like a gorilla...Danny was it?

CorrinaTFF : LOL Danny Wood! LMFAO

Mrs. Peacock: You know their last names?!?!?!

CorrinaTFF: I guess he did, didn’t he? You don't??!? Oh you are soooo fired!

Mrs. Peacock: Donnie, yes. Joey, yes. The rest...no

CorrinaTFF: Jordan and Jonathan Knight

Mrs. Peacock: But I did have many issues of Tiger Beat ;)

CorrinaTFF: Donnie and Mark Wahlberg. OMG I miss Tiger Beat sometimes...we need mags like that for those of us approaching cougarhood.

Mrs. Peacock: What do they say we are now? Pumas?

CorrinaTFF: I mean there's People, but where is my life-sized poster damnit! YES! LOL

Mrs. Peacock: Ok, so I lied earlier. This is the last question. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

CorrinaTFF: "All is forgiven." and the joker part of me "Did you have fun?" I know I am forgiven, but it would still be nice to hear.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO COLDPLAYWHORE!! (remember we love you!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLDPLAYWHORE!!!

Roses are red,
Rob's hair is wack.
We hope your birthday's better,
Than "those scenes" that fade to black.

We love you!!!
Brandi, Stacy, & Whitney

 

 

uberbeta...
I don't know what I'd do without you. Thanks for always being so wonderful to me.
I know the song is cheesy and very teeny bopper, but it says what I feel.
Happy Birthday Sweets!!!
Hope your day is wonderful, perfect, and very Rob-worthy.

Brandi

From Flightlessbird11

I know you didn't want anything big and any fuss about your birthday so... we aren't. We're just acknowledging that today, one day out of the whole year, one of our favorite people were born. No fuss, no hoopla. Now please enjoy the Matthew Lewis spam. Cause I'm willing to share.

Love TwiOthGirly!

Mean Mrs. Mustard has a sweet side with Strawberry Wine by kas90!

So, a few weeks ago I had an extra ticket to see 100 Monkeys and I offered it up to the first person who was interested on my Facebook page. A lovely girl who lived not too far from me named cejsmom was the lucky recipient. Plus, she got to spend quality time with me, which I’m sure you are all envious about (NOT!)

Anywhoo, as we were talking she mentioned a vastly underappreciated story to me and it is called Strawberry Wine, but the lovely and talented kas90. So, the next day once my tiny hangover had worn off, I started reading and let me tell you, it is awesome!

Each chapter of the story alternates from present day to the past when Bella was a teenager and spending the summer with her Uncle Charlie in North Carolina. (I also have a weakness for all NC related fic btw) In the past, Edward helps out on Charlie’s farm, which is how he and Bella first meet. The downfall is that Bella is only there for the summer and Edward is heading out to college in the fall and has a plan for his life, so sadly, all they have together is a the summer. kas90 writes their teenage years with a lot of reality in it. They aren’t rich, they don’t drive super fancy cars and they have realistic dreams and goals. They are also absolutely adorable.

"The other day, by the horses, you were strong one second and begging me to get you off the horse the next. And then you couldn't put a whole sentence together, rambling on about riding my horse and how Charlie would kill me for it." His arms rested on his bent knees and his face was turned in my direction as he broke a smile. "Now today, I hear you talking about your favorite books and your dreams, and then your family… and then you say how you don't want to be 'picked-up' or whatever. I'm just at such a loss on how to do this." He ran one of his hands through his wet hair, making it stand up on ends.

"How to do what?" I asked as quietly as the loud rushing noise of the water would allow.

In what seemed the most genuine gesture, Edward gently picked up my hand that was resting on my thigh and laced his fingers between mine. I could practically feel his pulse through the pad of his thumb…or maybe it was just my own because my heart was beating so fast.

"This," he said, holding our hands up in the air between us. "I want this," he added on more quietly, not once breaking eye contact as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

"Why?" I finally asked, my question barely audible.

"Because you don't fit a mold."

Our eyes were locked, and even though it was darker in the cave area, I could still see specks of light shine in his blue eyes. I, for the life of me, couldn't find the right words so I did the only thing I could think of. I brought the hand that was still being held in midair closer to me and gently loosened our grip, taking his one hand in both of mine. With a deep breath, I closed my eyes and placed a soft kiss in the middle of his palm.

When I looked back to him, I swore I had never seen him smile so big.

Unfortunately, when you get a glimpse into their future, it’s not quiet how you wished it had turned out. Bella is recently divorced and is heading back to North Carolina to try and help out her ailing Uncle Charlie. Of course, Charlie is a schemer and immediately does something rather hilarious to try and reunite Bella and Edward, whose life hasn’t exactly gone like he planned. However, he is not a fuckhot firefighter, so you can’t be too upset about that.

As much as I want to tell every awesome little thing about this story, you seriously need to go and read it yourself. It’s full of funny adorable moments, sweet kisses and a VERY interesting future that involves several unlikely parties. Hell, as of right now we still don’t even know who the hell Bella got married too, but I am dying to find out.

Bratty-Vamp Week! Mr. Green brings the week to a close by doing what he does best, keeping it GREEN!

What a great fukking week! Who doesn’t love Bratty-Vamp? I for one am I giant fukking fan and when the boss lady told me that we were doing an entire week on her stories I was fukking stoked! Of course it was a given which fukking story I would do… well if you know me at all it is anyways. Green baby all the fukking way!

What can I say about fukking Bratty that no one else has? I secretly want to do naughty things to her… oops guess it’s not so much a fukking secret anymore. Her writing is fukking stellar and it gets me in the mood. Even her light-hearted stories such as my assignment this week are detailed and exciting to fukking read. Green is fukking phenomenal… well I know I am but this Green is too. I must say I’ve read all of Bratty’s stories and can admit that I’ve read a few of them more than once. To be completely thorough I read Green once again and was not disappointed. The only thing that would make it better is if Edward sipped on some Green fukking Tea… *snickers* diggity diggity yes I fukking did!

Edward is a hard working landscape guy. Does that make him a gardener? I’m not sure. I affectionately call him Lawnward. Bella is kind of a stuck up brat. What happens when he saves her life and she sees that he is a great guy? Classic Bratty story telling at its finest is what fukking happens. Fukking amazing you have no idea what you’re missing if you haven’t gone there. Here’s a taste to get your mouth watering:

"I wanted to come over and thank you. For yesterday," Bella cut me off. "Rosalie told me what you did. She said you saved me…"

"It was nothing," I shrugged and wished I wasn't wearing a floppy fishing hat with hooks and tackle hanging from it. I felt like a complete tool.

"Well… I appreciate it. I could have died, you know."

I didn't have anything to say about that, so I looked down and toed my rubber wader into the grass under my feet.

"You saved me from drowning, AND grounding," Bella chuckled then. "You cleaned up our party mess. That was… cool of you."

"I'm glad you're okay," I said, looking up into her eyes. It was a little surreal, seeing Bella standing there on my front porch. I adjusted my glasses awkwardly.

"Thanks to you," she nodded.

"Well…" I said, pursing my lips to the side.

"Yeah. Well… I just wanted to…"

She moved down the stairs while I moved forward, and we did this weird little side-step thing to go around each other in the middle.

"See you around?" Bella asked, when we finally traded places. I crinkled my forehead in confusion and turned to look back down at her. She hadn't 'seen me around' in the entire three years of high school so far. I couldn't imagine that changing now.

"I guess…" I said noncommittally. I wouldn't hold her to it. "Maybe I'll see you. You know. When I'm working or something."

"Well anyway," Bella twisted her fingers nervously in front of her. "Thanks again, Elton."

See you can’t help but be a little mad at her… I mean she doesn’t even know the name of the guy that fukking saved her life but he sets her straight of course. I would’ve totally been like, “Bitch I saved you and you don’t know my name?” but this Edward is classy and respectful like.

Bella turned to walk to her car, and I couldn't help but call out after her.

"It's Edward."

"What?" Bella turned and looked back in my direction.

"My name," I said then. "It isn't Elton. My name is Edward."

"Edward." Bella said my name sweetly, and then nodded. She actually gave me a little grin and I felt my cheeks heat. I hoped the floppy brim of my hat shaded my face well enough to hide my reaction to her expression. "Well thank you, Edward. For everything."

It’s so hard not to give you more… I’m a fukking giver by nature. But I’m going to make you open this bitch up and read it because I know you will fukking enjoy it. So your instructions for the week are: open, read, fukking enjoy and leave Bratty some love if you haven’t yet. I was sad to see that Green is one of her less reviewed possibly read fics… lets fukking change that. Come on give Lawnward a chance! Besides Bratty deserves to be worshipped… ooh what I would do if given the fukking chance. Time to go bug my favorite MILF… must say I kinda miss her White assets. Until next time… keep it fukking Green.

Bratty-Vamp Week! Mr. Boody is bringing you My Escort!

There's something so taboo about an escort. They straddle the lines of legality, they work for the super wealthy, and they always look so damn good.

And there's a reason Pretty Woman is so popular. The hard-working, loveable worker of the night, stealing the heart of their client, and riding into the sunset, so much happier than when they began their journey.

Now imagine Edward isn't the insanely rich one (hard to imagine for a fic, eh?), and that he the escort, with a boss he finds himself increasingly attracted to... and she finds herself, against all the rules, falling right back. There, you have My Escort, by Bratty-Vamp.

Trying to get through school, Edward begins to work at an escort service, to the prompting of his roommate Jasper, who has less than stellar reputation in legality, but with a paycheck that can't be denied.

Bella also works for the agency, and hand picks Edward to be a male escort... and against her own will, for herself.

"Is this one of yours?" I asked. Jasper nodded and turned his attention to a point over my head. He was obviously placing the ball in my court. We were friends, but he wasn't calling in favors for the recruit at his side. I appreciated it.

The man stood looking at me, quietly. He shifted back and forth, obviously unsettled by my attention. His hair was a reddish-messy looking mop that stuck up, even though I could tell he hadn't used any styling products. And his face… was arresting. Strong cheekbones… angular jaw. His eyes held steady when my gaze met his, and I was stunned momentarily by their green depths. It wasn't even the color that particularly drew me in. It was the openness I saw there. Sincerity and honesty were as easy to read as pretentiousness and arrogance. But they weren't as often seen here, in this business.

With great reluctance, I tore my eyes away from his face and looked down his body.

"He looks like a hobo," I said sharply. I wasn't sure why I criticized him out loud; except for the purpose of using his unkempt appearance to put a wall between him and I.

"I…uh…"

I wanted to stay and hear the quality of his voice. But I moved away and put space between us, so I could better concentrate on the job at hand and remove myself from temptation.

Soon, however, the two form a friendship, starting with Bella wanting Edward to succeed in his new job, but then it turns into something more.

It wasn't that I doubted Edward's ability to pull-off the ruse. I knew he'd be able to convince my professor and classmates that I was in a relationship, and therefore, off-the-market. I just didn't trust my own ability to keep things as strictly professional as I should. With Jasper, it would have been easy. There was no confusion blurring the lines of friendship between us.

But it was hard to deny how physically attracted I felt toward Edward. And worse… the more time I spent with him, the more I grew to care for him as much, much more than a friend. I had inadvertently crossed into "crush" territory. And I did not want to jeopardize our work relationship, or compromise our carefully balanced friendship. Both were just too important to me.

I was so lost in thought that I hadn't even realized that Edward had stopped walking beside me until I had passed him by about ten feet. I stopped and turned, to see him standing in the middle of the concourse with a concerned look on his face.

"Bella? Are you alright?" He asked. I felt my shoulders slump, and was instantly embarrassed about how inattentive I had been.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized as I walked back to join him where he stood. "I've just… got a lot on my mind."

Like jealousy, trying to keep her job, desire, blurring the lines between friendship, love, and lust... Yeah. A lot on her mind. And on his. Especially when the lines get blurred on a trip to Vegas together.

"Bella…" I mumbled around fake flora and soft skin.

"Shh… go to sleep," Bella said, shimming down my body. She finally stopped when her head rested on my chest. "Is this okay?" she whispered.

"Hmm," I hummed beneath her. I wasn't quite sure if it was okay, or not. I mean, it was certainly okay with me. I just wasn't sure what she'd think when she woke up wrapped around me.

"You have the most beautiful heart," Bella mumbled. It sort of sounded more like "youhaffthemoshbootifulart" but I understood quite clearly when she placed a small, sweet kiss in the center of my chest.

Bella fell asleep almost immediately. My hopes for sleep, however, were completely denied. While Bella's warm body was curled around my side, I laid there, uncomfortable and fighting to ignore a raging hard-on. I know that she was completely drunk, and there was no way I'd ever take advantage of her in that condition. But because I had a warm and decidedly under-dressed girl pressed against me, my body was doing its level best to convince my mind otherwise. I stared at the ceiling and tried to concentrate on deliberately un-sexy thoughts while every unconscious move of Bella's bent knee against my groin made me nearly come un-done. I was very close to sliding out of bed to take care of things for myself in the bathroom. But I was pretty sure that I would wake Bella up if I tried to move out from under her.

And that's when she started talking in her sleep. Bella mostly mumbled things that didn't make any sense at all. I mean… she said something about bubbles. And… hot wings? But once, I heard her quite clearly say my name. "Edward" she said, in a soft, purring kind of way. It filled my entire body with a strange sort of contentment. I laid awake until almost dawn, just waiting to hear if she'd say it again.

Finally, when she sighed and rolled away from me, I followed her with my body and snuggled in to try to get a couple hours of shut-eye.

Of course, the path isn't always perfect, and the blurry lines they create make otherwise pleasureable activities... more confusing than expected.

"Edward?" I saw a brief flash of confusion on her face. I didn't even bother looking at her professor. I was pretty sure I would have just tackled him to the ground at that point and beat him to a bloody fucking pulp. Instead, I acted rashly in a totally different way. A way I hadn't planned. A way Bella, obviously, didn't expect. I pulled that girl away from the slimy hand that had rested on her back, and I kissed her soundly.

The minute our lips touched, we both froze.

You know, in movies… that magical moment when a couple shares their first kiss? The camera man does this thing to make the room look like it's spinning. And some powerful orchestral piece picks up volume in the background so that you know the young couple is being overcome by their amazing feelings.

Yeah. This was nothing like that.

The second our lips touched, I knew I had made a horrible mistake. I didn't hear a swell of music. What I heard was my own voice in my head reciting 'oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.' I had the presence of mind to know that I needed to finish what I had started, to get the job done. No one would be convinced by the way that Bella had just turned to a dead mackerel in my arms. So I grunted a little and pulled her waist toward me, effectively bending her backward so that our lips could press together a little more firmly. And I was sure, to an outsider, it looked like a very passionate embrace.

I, on the other hand, recognized the need to turn my leg slightly in front of my body to protect my balls. Because I was pretty sure Bella would have given me her knee if she could. Her hands moved up to clutch the lapels of my jacket, and I tried to ignore the way her body felt, pressed against mine. She whimpered just a little against my mouth, and a whole different set of feelings started to get thrown into the mix, confusing all of my good intentions. I pulled my mouth away from hers, and shook my head slightly to clear it.

Bella's cheeks were deliciously pink, and her breath was uneven. To anyone else, she might have looked excited by what had just happened. But I was close enough to see the flash in her deep brown eyes. Yep. She was going to kill me. 

 

*le gasp!* How could that be possible?! Well... read more. It's a guaranteed win, and Bratty-Vamp makes a topic that normally seems taboo into something you want to read more of. Takes some of the forbiddenness out of it and makes it into something we all want to experience.

Bratty-Vamp Week! Miss Scarlet comes back and brings The Best Man!

When we decided to do Bratty-Vamp week I have to admit that I was pretty excited. I'm no stranger to Bratty's work. But when we were splitting up the stories among ourselves I had to pause. There was one story that I had NOT read of hers. One that I was pretty much avoiding. And I said it's either now or never. You would assume that I read it right away right? Nah, I waited until about last week to read it. But once I started, I couldn't stop.
The Best Man is a story about best friends Bella and Jasper and Jasper's older brother Edward. Jasper is getting married and of course he's going to need someone to stand up with him. However, when you have your best friend who knows everything about you and your brother, who do you choose? How do you choose? Have a series of contests a year before the day and see who wins of course!

Now throw in some confused feelings about a childhood crush that may not be so childhood anymore and you have Bella. Her and Edward have this semi-volatile relationship because both want to be Jasper's best man.They both play to their strengths during these challenges but you also get a sense of sexual tension between the two.

I don't want to give the whole story away because honestly you'd probably kill me if I did. But this isn't just sweet UST and fluff. There is some heartache there. I have to admit this story brought me to tears and reminded me why I put it on hold for so long. However, instead of ruining it for you. I'll just give you a taste of that sexual tension Bratty does so well in her stories.

"Not so fast," Edward straightened himself on the stool and looked me directly in the eye. "I win."

"What?" My voice sounded as incredulous as I felt. "You haven't even had a shot yet!"

"Nope. But when I do… I win." He stood and adjusted the neck of his shirt.

"You can't be so sure of yourself." I placed my hands on my hips and gave him a dirty look.

"Oh yes I can Bella," Edward smiled. "The rules distinctly stated 'no hands.' You used my hands to hold your lemon and your liquor. You are clearly in violation of the rules!"

My mouth popped open and I turned to look at the guys. They were shrugging and nodding in confirmation to Edward's statement.

"Damn dirty lawyer!" I huffed. "I'd like to know how in the hell a person does a body shot without having someone hold the shot glass!"

"Someone holds it," Edward said lowly. He put his hands on my shoulders and turned my back to the bar. "Don't say I didn't warn you," he whispered near my ear.

I was struck speechless when Edward dropped to his knees in front of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked. Then I breathed "Oh…"

Edward already had his lemon wedge in hand, and was meticulously dragging it across the skin of my abdomen. I had to stop myself from trembling when I felt a drop of juice slide down my stomach toward the waistband of my jeans. Edward didn't look up from his work. He simply brought that gorgeous head of his closer toward me as he reached to the bar for the salt shaker. "Lean back," he commanded. My body automatically moved to accommodate him, and I pressed my arms back against the stool behind me. The salt tickled across my skin until it stuck to the wet lemon juice. Edward placed the shaker back on the bar and stood with the shot glass in hand.

"You asked for this," he whispered with something a bit dark and dangerous glinting in his eyes. Edward quickly bent one long finger into the collar of my shirt and tugged it down until the deep V-shape he created exposed an obscene amount of cleavage and the center of my red bra. His face had taken on a clinical look of professionalism when he firmly wedged the shot glass between my breasts.

Shocked by the coolness of the glass as well as his actions, I opened my mouth to protest. Edward didn't give me time to say a word. He shoved the edge of the lemon into my mouth.

"Bite it," he ordered through gritted teeth.

I complied and pressed my teeth into the bitter skin of the fruit.

Edward didn't waste time. Back on his knees, he gripped my hips in his hands roughly and pressed his face to my stomach. I felt sure he could feel my stomach muscles clench when his tongue licked away the long line of salt that he placed there. My eyes actually rolled back a little, and I hoped to God no one else noticed. His fingers gripped me even more tightly as he rose far enough to reach the shot glass with his mouth. I stared at the top of his head while he pulled the shot glass away from my chest with his teeth. He drained the glass and dropped it to the floor immediately. Then Edward reached forward and bit into the lemon, tearing it away from my mouth with only the barest hint of his lips on mine. He stood and raised his hands over his head, to the cheers of the four men who stood behind him.

"Nice work, Cullen," Mike clapped him on the back.

He can do a body shot off of me ANY time! What Bratty does in this story is fall in love with the characters. You believe in the friendship. Everyone has had that friend where they can just tell anything to and they will always be there for you. She captures how first love doesn't just go away forever. And also how that first friendship will follow you throughout your life.

Go check it out. Laugh. cry, and don't forget to check out all the other stories rec'd this week. Let her know we sent you.

Bratty-Vamp Week! Mrs. White brings you In Vain!

Bratty Vamp Week... Hmmmmm, I love the sound of that. Seriously? An entire week of nothing but amazing stories by one of my favorite authors? How great is that? You know...she and I are friends. We've hung out together. Maybe you don't remember our roller skating adventure, or the carnival and haunted house from last Halloween...but I do. Bratty's a little hottie, let me tell you!

Anyhow, before I let my girl-crush completely take over, I've got a job to do. And I'm excited about it. I thought for this week that I'd do something I hardly ever do. I mean, it's something I really don't like doing, but for Bratty? I did it. I read a vampire story. I know, shocking, right? I mean wow, I never delve into the underworld of sparkling skin, undead-ness, and other worldly good looks. Wait, that last part sounds pretty good, actually. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good vampire costume, especially when said costume is kinda slutty and see through. I don't have a problem sinking my teeth into some hottie piece of man, and leaving my mark on him. I just don't ever read vamp stories, but this week I made an exception and read one of the few stories written by Bratty Vamp that I hadn't gotten around to enjoying yet. And it was well worth the wait.

In Vain is Bratty's latest story, and I remember as she was posting the chapters that people were freaking out over it. I knew it would be good, but as always...I was completely blown away by just HOW good it is. Bella is a normal, human girl that has led a rather sheltered and boring life. Alone with just her controlling mother, Bella is counting down the days until she's an adult and can strike out on her own. She's excited to finally be out from under her mother's watchful eye, and to try making some decisions of her own. Soon enough Bella has met Jasper, the brother of her friend Rosalie, and a fast and sweet romance begins. Just when she thinks things are going great, and she's ready to consummate the relationship, her mother ships her off to Italy for a visit with an old family friend, Aro. Unable to even let Rose and Jasper know that she's okay, she frets and worries for the first several days she's there. Not only is she worried, but she has not way to contact them since her phone has mysteriously disappeared, and there is no phone or internet connection in the home she's staying in.

Not only is everything about her trip strange, but then she meets the man that owns the house where she's staying...Edward. Immediately she feels drawn to him, yet angered and repulsed by him at the same time. His protectiveness toward her is even more than the behavior her mother had displayed, and just when Bella has decided she's had enough and wants to return home, comes some unfortunate news. Apparently just after Bella left, Renee took her own life, leaving Bella a grieving orphan and in the care of Aro. The weirdness doesn't end there, and every day it seems there's something new that Bella must endure and try to figure out. Finally, as if that's not enough, it's soon announced that Bella will marry Edward. Bella wants nothing of it, and sets into motion a few plans and schemes that will hopefully lead her to being thrown out and sent home.

I can't tell you much more than that, or I'll ruin the surprise, but let me just say, this Bella is smart. She's sneaky, quick thinking, and observant. She's also completely unaware of what's happening around her and shocked when she discovers the truth about why she is in Edward's home. What exactly happened in her past to get her to this point? Just how long has Bella known Edward? What really happened to Jasper right before Bella left for Italy? And seriously, how angry is Edward gonna be when he sees that forbidden tattoo on her hip?

This story sucked me in and didn't let go until I was finished with it. I loved the way Bratty Vamp constructed her characters and all the details she provided for them. I love how smart the storyline is, and how it kept me guessing and wondering not only what was going on, but how Bella was going to figure out a way to get free from her “imprisonment.” I loved all the twists and turns, and I especially loved the sexual tension between Bella and Edward. It's clear right from the start that these two are meant for each other, but watching Bella fight it just makes it all that much hotter. And honestly, when these two finally get together...fireworks. Not even kidding.

Do yourself a favor and read this story. It's one of Bratty's best, though really, all of her stories are incredible. If you like a little vampy blood sucking, a controlling Edward, and an intelligent Bella, this one's for you.

Now, I need to go find that Bratty Vamp and see if I can figure out just how “kinda evil” she is... I mean, I already know the cute part is right, that was easy enough to find out. Hmmmm, that bunny on her avi reminds me of her costume at Halloween... Her cute little tail kept falling off, and I got to put it back on for her. Well, me and a bunch of baseball players we happened to run into. Bet you wish you were friends with her too now, don't you?

Bratty-Vamp Week! Mean Mrs. Mustard is back with some Four Summers!

In the grand scheme of things I am a newbie to the writings of Bratty-Vamp. I haven’t read her big stories like ‘My Escort’ or ‘The Best Man’, though I have been told I’m missing out. However, when I heard that she had a short story out that was only a few chapters in, I figured it was time to jump on the bandwagon. It helped when the summary read the following – Sun, surf and sand. Best friends, and best kisses. Broken hearts, broken ties, and dreams that can never be broken. A bounce through time. Every road we travel leads us to exactly where we are meant to be.

It sounded cute. I like cute (even though I myself am the anti-thesis of cute), so I read it.

Four Summers begins with 13 year old Bella going to the North Carolina coast for the summer with her mother Renee and her latest husband, Lonnie. He would be husband number three for the social climbing, Renee. You can sense that Bella didn’t particularly want to spend the summer with her mother, because she knew no one on the coast and felt alone. She even writes that in her notebook which she takes with her everywhere.

Of course, her boring summer, and subsequently her life, are forever changed when she gets tackled and accidently kicked in the face on the beach by some teenage boys playing football. Enter Edward Cullen, the face kicker.

"Hey! Isabella… right?"

Surprised, I turned and saw that Edward was jogging from the back of his house toward where I stood. Feeling nervous again, I bit my lip and shoved my hands in my pockets.

"Yeah?" I asked, tentatively. He stopped when he got a couple of feet away and grinned. I was struck again by how cute he was. I hadn't even noticed before, but his eyes were like the color of a seven-up bottle.

"I was just coming to find you."

"Well. Here I am," I told him, waiting to see what he wanted. My stomach fluttered nervously as he stood studying me with his grass-green, smiling eyes.

"Wow. You've got a black eye."

"Yeah," I said again, looking down and feeling embarrassed all over again.

"I really am sorry about that. Didn't even see you there."

"No big deal," I shrugged.

"Hey. I found this on the beach. Thought it was probably yours."

I looked up to see him pulling my folded notebook from his back pocket before he held it out in my direction. I reached for it eagerly, and held it with both hands against my chest.

"You write a lot of interesting stuff."

"You read my journal?" I asked, indignantly. He just shrugged and didn't offer any sort of apology.

"I was curious."

As the story progresses, you get to meet the usual crew, plus Lauren who considers herself the ‘Queen Bitch’ at the coast, and they age from 13 to 24, although you don’t see each year in detail. We learn that as teens, Bella and Edward are very close, regardless of the interruptions from Lauren, who wants Edward all to herself. However, a friendship and even a little romance blooms between Edward & Bella.

As adults, we see that Edward and Bella no longer speak and Renee isn’t married to Lonnie. Bella is trying to make it as a serious writer, but takes a job as a bartender to make ends meet. Of course, it is here that Bella runs into Edward again and Bella can’t help but feel the same things for him that she did when they were younger.

"Isabella Swan," a voice called out from the night, making my hand pause on my car door handle and my entire body tingle with awareness. It was the last voice I'd expected to hear again, but for some reason, I wasn't really surprised to hear it. I shook my head with a chuckle, before slowly turning to face him.

"Edward Cullen," I said, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning back against my car door.

"I knew that was you," he smiled, stepping from the side of the building toward where I stood. "I… knew it."

"Don't see how," I said, raising an eyebrow and sweeping my hand over my sticky, wet clothing. I looked like a drowned rat. While he looked… absolutely, breathtakingly, just-as-I-always-remembered-him gorgeous. Only better. Older. More mature. And he was dressed in an immaculate suit that made his shoulders look wide and his hips look narrow. I realized I was staring, and so I dropped my eyes in embarrassment.

"Your hand," Edward said, finally getting close enough to touch me. I shivered at the familiar way that his fingers felt, as they wrapped around my wrist, warm like sunshine in June. He held my hand up toward his face, and examined the pink line that made a crescent shape near the base of my thumb. "I wasn't sure til' I saw this…" Edward said, and I could feel his soft breath on my skin. "But when I saw it… I knew. I was there when you got that scar, Isabella."

This story is one of those adorable ones that you just want to keep reading. I know, I’m on my second read right now. I adore this Edward, even his flaws, and there are many. It’s wonderful to see the progression from teenagers to adults and how different they are, but still so much the same.

If you haven’t had a chance to read it, seriously... go now. What are you waiting for? It’s summer – the perfect time to read a summer fic!

Bratty-Vamp Week! Mean Mrs. Mustard takes you to the Ring of Stars!

Welcome to Bratty-Vamp Week here on P.I.C.!!!

For a while now, lots of people have been rec-ing me Bratty’s fics, but let’s face it, there isn’t enough time to read everything that is rec’d. Well, I am kicking myself now for not getting to her work sooner. I read Ring Of Stars and absolutely fell in love with it.

Edward recalls a memory of when he noticed his mother’s wedding ring, the one he proposes to Bella with, as a child.

When the song came to an end, my mother held our joined hands between us and bowed a curtsey to thank me for the dance. As she did, the sunlight glanced off the ring on her hand, and sent skittering stars of light across her skin. Intrigued, I bent forward to study the source of the sparkling effect more closely. When I did, a wayward star bounced into my eye, and I winced at the brightness.

"Your ring…" I said in wonder, cautiously peeking at it again. "It makes stars."

My mother laughed and sank down to her knees on the thick grass in front of me. She allowed me to twist her soft hand to the left and to the right, experimenting with the way I could capture the light and throw the orbs around us.

"Your father gave me this on our wedding day."

"What's a wedding?" I asked, curiously.

"Oh, Penny," she sighed. "It's a beautiful party. A celebration!" Her smile was wide and the sun highlighted her rosy cheeks. "And two people promise to love each other forever… to always be together. To take care of each other… no matter what. They get married. And there are guests… and gifts… and dancing…" Her voice trailed away in a wistful tone, as she remembered the event fondly.

"I'm going to marry you," I announced with the innocent capriciousness of youth.

"Beautiful Boy," my mother kissed my cheek. "I'm already taken!" She giggled a little again. "But if I didn't marry your father… then I wouldn't have you!" She rose from her kneeling position then, and took my hand into her own, turning to walk us back toward the house. "But someday, Penny," she began to explain. "Someday… you will meet a beautiful woman who you will want to love forever. And then… I will give you this ring to put on her finger."

"But it's your ring," I argued, stopping and tugging at her hand to get her to face me. "They are your stars!"

She turned and looked down into my concerned face. With the hand that wore the ring in question, she ruffled my hair again and I leaned into her touch.

"Oh Beautiful Boy," she smiled and pulled me against her skirt. She smelled like flowers. I wasn't sure what kind, but I was sure the scent must have matched the tiny purple and white blossoms that were printed on the fabric of her dress. She pulled away after a moment and placed a finger under my chin, bringing my eyes back up to her own.

"Anything for you. I love you more than the stars."

A shiver ran up my spine as my mother's tender promise repeated itself in my head. It wasn't the last time her sentiment would be expressed, though it would be the last time I heard those words spoken by her sweet voice.

This human memory comes to Edward as he is wondering if he should have asked Bella to marry him the night before. Edward doesn’t want to be “weighing her down to a life…” Ring Of Stars is written in Edward’s point of view and completely canon, therefore he doesn’t know how much Bella truly loves him and wants to marry him. Thanks to a little vision from Alice, and something that Bella says, Edward feels relieved that he asked Bella to be his wife.

Ring Of Stars is, hands down, the best canon-written, Edward point of view fic I have ever read. Bratty does a fantastic job of really putting you into Edward’s world. The vocabulary that Bratty uses throughout the story fits Edward to a T. The whole flow of the story is perfect as he recollects the sights, sounds, and smells of, not only, his childhood memory, but his time up until the day he met Bella. Once you read this wonderful one-shot, you will be moving on to read the rest of Bratty-Vamp’s fics, as I have. You won’t be disappointed.

Go. Read. Enjoy! Don’t forget to review.

Bratty-Vamp Week! Kicking it off with the woman herself and Abbacciare il Cantante!

Summary: What if Edward left Forks after his first encounter with Bella, and he never returned? Fate couldn't keep these two apart. But meeting at a later time and place might have changed the nature of their relationship.

Hmm. I feel a little odd writing a review for one of my own stories, but it seemed easy enough to just tell y’all a little bit about why Abbracciare il Cantante is so special to me (and worth a read, I think.)

First of all, AiC was my very first attempt at writing fanfic. Before trying my hand at doing this, I saw Wide Awake being discussed on a lot of LJ communities, and decided to check it out to see what the big deal was. (I literally was such a noob that I didn’t even know what fanfic was!) Then I started wondering if any of the stories in my own head would be worth contributing to the world of fan fiction. Some friends told me I should give it a shot. I promised I’d try, IF an idea came to me.

Two days later, I woke up from a dream (how very Steph of me) with the idea I’d been hoping for. I started writing that evening.

I guess I just wanted to know what would happen for these characters I loved, if they had been given just a little more time to grow up and mature. Simple enough idea. Fun to get lost in while writing (and reading.) I think the story is funny. And sweet. Sometimes sexy. And a little sad. But a whole lotta happy. I enjoy reading it (even though I’m the one who wrote it. Yes… I read my own stuff.)

I tackled this story like a chubby kid on a cupcake. Seriously. I posted nearly every day, and I didn’t have a beta to speak of. (Again… noob here hadn’t heard of betas!) I didn’t even have an official banner for the story until well after it was written and shared. (Noob. Remember?)

Abbracciare il Cantante means “To embrace the singer.” I’ll always remember writing this story, as me embracing a whole new, fun way to express myself. If I’ve entertained a few folks along the way, Bonus!

Yes… the story may be a little rough. But I’m very proud of it. Abbracciare il Cantante will always be “my baby.” My gateway drug. It launched me into this whole, mad world… and I have had a super-fun time sharing stories with everyone.

Mr. Green plays a litte Words with Friends by Nolebucgrl!

Hello again. So I guess it’s the start of a game of fukking he said she said with my favorite fukking MILF. My trip was fun and fukking relaxing and I most indeed scared the shite out of her precious Neighbor Guy. At the same time though, I can neither confirm nor fukking deny the sparkly thong, that’s a fukking secret I’m keeping to myself. You wanna fukking find out? Share a glass or two of Green Fukking Tea with me and I might just tell you… maybe. So to stay with the theme of games; hell fukking knows that Mr. Green loves fukking games. I’ll tell you about a fic I recently came across: Words with Friends by Nolebucgrl. The story is twelve chapters in and so far I fukking really like it. I have to say that I hadn’t played WWF until I read this fic and I fukking started to play because of it.

Bella in Words with Friends sees the ultra-talented actor Edward fukking Cullen on David Letterman and he just happens to mention that he plays Words with Friends addictively. She has the idea to find him and dreams about maybe even one day meeting him. She chooses a screen name that she thinks might be his and it goes from fukking there. It’s a fantasy that I’m sure some of us would love to come true with a certain fukking celeb I’m sure. Could this Bella be that fukking lucky? Read and find out.

I climbed into bed and reached to turn off my lamp. My own iPhone lay on the nightstand, charging away. I picked it up and turned it on, hitting my Words with Friends app. BlueBel22 had five games going, but I ignored those and hit the green plus symbol at the corner of the screen. I pulled up User Name and typed Skeletor. Edward had talked in numerous interviews about his love for the cartoon He-Man as a child and how that skeleton bad guy had amused him. It had just a good a chance of being him as anything else, right? Well, maybe I needed something else. His favorite number was 17; he'd said that in his first Entertainment Weekly interview.

Skeletor17 came back as an active name and I started a new game. I giggled when I saw my letters. PEEN? I was not going to play the word peen against Edward Cullen. Mane? Eh. Name…that was good. There was a meaning there, as I wanted badly to know his name, if Skeletor17 was Edward Cullen. I played that for my measly 8 points and closed the app before turning off my phone.

I had to get to bed so I wasn't a zombie in class tomorrow. Maybe I'd wake to a response from Edward. A girl could dream.

So Bella sets out to find Edward. She’s the girl who knows everything about him so she thinks she has a good chance and what’s she got to lose? I fukking love the writing in this story, its light and nothing is too fukking serious. The two “Friends” start to share words and then start to share comments. Edward brings out a side of Bella that she normally doesn’t share and Bella seems to let her new “friend” just be himself which is what he needs apparently. Win win situation for both of them in my fukking opinion. So your instructions for this week are: read, fukking enjoy and review of course. Before I leave you this week, I have to say a fukking thank you to the lovely suzie55 for her shout out to yours truly. Sweetheart you can borrow my “fukking” anytime you want *wink*. Until next time… keep it fukking Green.

Guest Reviewer EdwardsBloodType takes the blog for a spin with Jada Pattinson and Fold Your Wings!

Summary: “The liberties he assumes with my body should enrage me, anger me beyond my own sanity, but it’s just not that simple.” Encounters born of need. Consequences neither saw coming. Guard your hearts. Not the Edward and Bella you’re used to.

The lovely Mrs. White asked me to do a guest review and immediately I jumped up and down yelling Jada Pattinson, Fold Your Wings, Jada Pattinson, Fold Your Wings!!!” After I calmed down, I explained that this story was one of my favorite fanfics ever written, that I was pretty good friends with Jada through Twitter, and I wanted the chance to interview her because she’s super funny, she tweets the best gifs to represent emotions, and she’s all around a great girl/ writer/ story teller. Oh and she also tweets some seriously hot porn. But here’s the thing…Jada is notorious for being tight lipped about plot, HEA’s, and juicy details about how the story will go. So I cleverly thought I could get some of those elusive tidbits out of her. However, I don’t even think Rob himself, could entice her with giving up the story goods. Unless perhaps there was rough window sex involved. Allow me to clarify.

Fold Your Wings is the story of a very lonely but independent Bella, who is fighting to reconcile her harsh and hateful family life, or lack thereof. She is struggling financially as she works two jobs to make ends meet while she attends college. One of those jobs is as a hotel maid. One night, she is randomly propositioned by one Edward Cullen (dubbed by FYW fans as Roughie or Roughward) at that hotel. His timing is unfortunately perfect because after she decides definitively no to his offer, she learns that her grades are slipping because of her exhaustion, leaving her little choice. Edward basically asks her if she’ll sleep with him for money, though in his usual manner, he’s not very nice or at all gentlemanly about it. It is not a decision she takes lightly or without careful consideration, and Bella realizes that this is purely a business arrangement with no illusions of great love to be had.

And that same choice was before me now, with Edward Cullen. A wave of realization washes over me. The only consolation in this entire fucked up situation is that I have a choice. I choose whether to walk away or take him up on this. I've been so pissed at my inability to compartmentalize this week. So frustrated at how off of my game I've been, all the while missing the big picture. But who's to say I can't compartmentalize this? I hate to admit it, but he's right. This can be a win/win situation. It doesn't have to be anything but what it is. A business arrangement. A job.

Nothing more, nothing less.

And just like that...I decide.

The exhaustion and the crazy work hours.

The complete and total deletion of any kind of personal life.

Cleaning up the filth of hundreds of people a week.

All of this, I could tolerate. Because it's leading me somewhere. Pushing me toward the finish line.

It wouldn't always be like this.

But school? That was my hard limit. To actually feel my goal slipping away from me. The thought of losing the very thing that guaranteed my future. To think that I may not get to have what I've busted my ass all of these years working for. A career and a life. The possibility that everything he thought about me may come true. That I'd never amount to anything more than what he'd said I would. My mother's face. Angela's face. It all bombards me and it's the shove that's needed to launch logic's toe right over the victory line.

I head to my car, feeling an unexpected rush of determination. Tug of war over. I know what I have to do now.

And so sex occurs. Rough, angry, degrading up against the window sex, with scathing words and hard hands and definitely no illusions of love or affection present. There are rules. No kissing, no talking, no touching, hands at your sides, leave when I tell you to. Afterward, money is left on a table in an envelope, and Bella departs feeling like the whore she has suddenly turned into. However, she realizes after only a few occasions of engaging in sordid acts, that Edward Cullen is a very broken man. She also realizes that she needs these encounters as much as he does, for her own reasons. Complicated.

From the prologue:

One hand gripping my throat. The other securing my hands together, pressing them into the pillow in front of me.

My back to his front.

His pace is punishing, driving the bed against the wall with each thrust forward.

The only light in the room is coming from above the bed, dimmed to low.

Every ounce of my concentration is devoted to staying quiet, just as with any other night.

But there is a significant difference this night. I don't hold back to avoid his ire, his sharp words like usual.

My nerves are aflame with the thought that this will end...before I come.

And if I let myself dwell on how that makes me feel, I'll break.

No, that can wait for later. When I'm dismissed. Alone with my feelings of self-loathing.

To think I ever thought I had a handle on this...

The little self-presevation I've managed to hold onto throughout this arrangement is whispering to me.

Telling me not to succumb.

To tune out the way my body wants to respond to him.

But it's of no use.

He has, whether he likes it or not, come to know my body. He'll recognize the telltale signs of my orgasm approaching. For this reason, I know that my chances of feeling the pleasure are slim.

Enter the Cullen Family. Bella’s internship is with her mentor Kate, an event planner who happens to be working on a wedding, whereby Bella realizes completely through accident, that Edward is related to the family she has come to respect and admire. And so the secrets slowly unfold.

The angst in Fold Your Wings is palpable, almost unbearable, yet the completely consensual sex is hot, yet cringe worthy at the same time. Jada writes in such a way that you are trapped alongside Bella’s psyche as she goes through a myriad of emotions, loathing herself and the man who degrades her for money, yet somehow craving his harsh treatment just the same. And the whole time we’re reading, just waiting for the shoe to drop with Edward discovering that Bella knows more about him than she would even like to…BAM! We’re thrown for a loop.

I startle at the sound of the doorbell.

I toss the throw aside, grab my wallet off of the coffee table and finger through it for a twenty. And when I throw the door open...I lose track of every thought I've had today.

Possibly the last week's worth.

Because standing on my porch...on a quiet Sunday afternoon...on my quaint little suburban street...so very far from the very places we used to haunt...

...is Edward.

His profile is unmistakable.

He's standing with his back to me, one hand on his hip and the other shoved into and tugging at his hair.

His...unruly hair.

Not the contained chaos I remember. But actually....disheveled.

His head is bowed down as he toes the porch.

I scan his body.

Jeans.

White thermal shirt.

Black chucks.

What the fuck?

My inventory takes mere seconds.

And then he's turning.

His face...that face.

There's a slight five o'clock shadow along his jaw.

He has sunglasses on but quickly whips them off when he realizes I'm standing there.

I think that maybe time has stopped...or at least slowed.

My hands begin to sweat and I'm not sure that moving would be a wise move right now. I feel like my heart is about to jump out through my throat.

Also, it's entirely possible that I'm not blinking.

The hand that was just raking through his hair is now cupped around and rubbing the back of his neck.

Looking down at the porch, he shuffles his feet and clears his throat.

I've yet to move, but the sound of it causes me to jump slightly.

He looks...is he...nervous?

I'm seeing him. I'm looking at him. But none of it is computing.

It's not just the shock of seeing him after...all this time.

It's the distortion of every detail I was once familiar with.

There's so little that remains the same.

So much has changed.

Maybe I should say something?

I can't even fathom what combination of words would be appropriate right now.

He beats me to it.

"Hello, Isabella."

My breathing stops completely.

My eyes snap up to meet his.

Brown to blue.

And then a thought barrels through my mind.

The words crash into me with a staggering impact.

They're the only words I can decipher in the haze that I find myself lost in.

And just like all of those years ago...my body knows its place.

I comply without hesitation.

Eyes down.

EdwardsBloodType: So Jada…Twilight? How do you really feel about the movies? Cheesy? Love them? Deserved a Oscar?

Jada: Please. Let's be real here. 'Oscar' doesn't belong in the same sentence as 'Twilight'. The first movie was my favorite. It had that indie feel. It was organic and the chemistry between Rob and Kristen was organic. Ironically, now that they're a couple, that shit is PAINFUL to watch.

EdwardsBloodType: Interesting POV.

Jada: Oh, and the soundtrack and score for the first one was genius. Rob keeps me coming back to the rest of them. And I know I'm not alone here. People are just scared of being skewered for saying it, lol.

EdwardsBloodType: I think he should have been on every sound track, and I know I’m not alone. He added an authentic feel to it. I actually think the soundtrack and score are the best part of all the movies.

Jada: My obsession with wanting to climb up the front of him and wiggle aside, the boy is talented in music. I'd say that no matter what he looked like. They do manage to get that part right now matter what, don't they? The soundtracks/scores are always genius.

EdwardsBloodType: I just personally wish I could understand him better.

Jada: lol...Rob's humble mumble doesn't do it for you?

EdwardsBloodType: Well, if he was mumbling during an orgasm, there would have no objections. But since I have to go on Lyricsmania to find out what the hell he’s saying...he could use me tuning up there. Just a thought.

Jada: LMAO...you lost me at orgasm. Okay...*breaks through horny fog to concentrate*...

EdwardsBloodType: Are you embarrassed by liking the Saga or do you embrace your sparkly vampire love? Do you wear team Edward tee-shirts and sleep with an Edward Cullen throw?

Jada: Right....Twilight merchandise. Yeah, that's a big NEGATIVE. Although I do know a popular blinkie pusher who dons an Edward cut out in her bathroom. Just sayin’.

EdwardsBloodType: Oh, our beloved RoseArcadia… that doesn’t surprise me one bit. I bet she rubs her fantastic boobies on it before every shower.

Jada: All I know is something about her kitty licking it. Do with it what you will. I do have to say that it's aggravating to be lumped in with the RobZombies every time you tell someone you like Twilight. Or Rob.

EdwardsBloodType: Well, because Twilight is essentially written and marketed toward tweens and it’s definitely in its own class of cheesy. But because we have the fan fiction element, it makes it much more adult to us.

Jada: That's true. It's one of my draws to the fandom. The fiction can be phenomenal.

EdwardsBloodType: I agree, yours included.

Jada: *blushes* No comment. Next question.....

EdawardsBloodType: How did you get into fan fiction?

Jada: After I spent about a week in the fetal position after reading BD, I Googled the hell out of anything I could find. Fanfiction fell in my lap. I was a goner as soon as I read about Edward giving it to Bella hard on a Twister mat.

EdwardsBloodType: That’s so funny. It’s basically how everyone discovered it. I often wonder if SM had made them do it graphically in the books, FF would have been this popular or so explicitly sexually oriented.

Jada: Oh, I have a feeling that 'graphically' wouldn't have been graphic enough for this lot. We're insatiable like that.

EdwardsBloodType: Oh yeah, after Twi fics, our smut expectations are set ridiculously high.

Jada: Let's just say I got pregnant the month after I discovered fanfiction. Seriously. lmao

EdwardsBloodType: You aren’t the first person to admit that! Okay, fave saga book?

Jada: Twilight. It was the start of it. New Moon made me ragey. Eclipse made me want to punch Bella in her taco. And you already know that BD made me go fetal. I'm not saying the books were entirely terrible, though. They are what they are. Aimed toward a certain demographic. But Twilight was the sweetest thing. It was before all the Jake shit started. I was marinating in Edward goodness.

EdwardsBloodType: He was super dreamy in Twilight. Then he was douchy and controlling thereafter…like most relationships, this one was no different.

Jada: Yes! And Bella started aggravating the hell out of me. You were ready to die for him and you want to become immortal for all of eternity by his side, but he pops the question and you pump the brakes? o.0

EdwardsBloodType: Um hmmmm, oh and wait…I’m not sure if I love this sunshiny Jake guy or you. Give me a sec to slip my tongue down his throat before I decide, mkay?

Jada: Edward should have tossed her wishy washy ass off the side of that mountain. I wanted to check his pants for a twig & berries when he just took that shit. And 'understood'. Yeah. No.

EdwardsBloodType: Sometimes I want to hunt down SM and shake her.

Jada: Me too. But then I remember that she could pull the plug on fan fiction, so I try to behave. I hope she doesn't read this type of thing.

EdwardsBloodType: I think that she would have pulled the plug ages ago if she really knew the depraved extent of it. I mean Michael Sheen guy read Unexpected Circumstances on VH1 and you know she saw or at least heard about that. That fic is full of fantastic smut. From what I understand, SM gave her sister a copy of an abridged version of the Saga that is filled with smutterific scenes. It will never see daylight, apparently.

Jada: Pssh. I have a hard time believing SM's dirty Twi copy could hold a candle to the lemonade we chug around here. Can you imagine if she would have just given Edward a dirty mouth and a penchant for violence? Mmmmm.

EdwardsBloodType: lol, whole other story entirely. Okay, so your experience in the fandom so far. We all know it can be a scary place at times with it being comprised mostly of women. FYW was pulled. Feelings? Comments?

Jada: *snorts* I can't even get mad about being accused of violating their ratings guideline. I violated them. Hard. I don't know if FYW was reported, (I'm assuming so) but it had the strangest effect. I got SO many people writing me to tell me that FYW had been on their TBR list, but any time something gets pulled, it must be GOOD so they bumped it up to their next read.

EdwardsBloodType: You recuperated from it pretty fast. I think you had that blog up in like a day or so, but most people who’ve had their stories pulled freak out about it.

Jada: That was all RoseArcadia. Seriously. She called me and was like, 'Here's what we're gonna do....' I just nodded and followed. And then BAM...I had a blog.

EdwardsBloodType: She’s awesome.

Jada: I concur. She's one of the best people I've met in this fandom. And the first to embrace my sordid little tale.

EdwardsBloodType: Actually, it was her influence that had me reading chapter one of FYW. I trust her judgment. And truthfully, it’s nice to have been there from the start. I’m always jumping on the “OMG you HAVE to read this fic Now!!!” bandwagon around 10 chapters in but FYW I joined in the debauchery at day one. You had me at “One hand gripping my throat.”

Jada: lol....Really? The prologue seems to send most people screaming.

EdwardsBloodType: Trust me, I don’t scare easily. I like angst and I like it HARD. So obviously, you’ve made friends in the fandom. Any bad experiences?

Jada: I've had a few run ins, yes. I tend to vent on Twitter but otherwise squash it before it starts. Most people just want drama. I don't give them what they're looking for, so they move along.

EdwardsBloodType: That’s smart. Every couple of months or so there’s some major dramatic upheaval in the fandom and then it disappears and is forgotten. How many people in RL know about you writing?

Jada: My husband, my sister and one RL friend. I tend not to broadcast it. You know the deal.

EdwardsBloodType: Oh I definitely do. So you aren’t entirely in the closet.

Jada: No, not entirely. lol

EdwardsBloodType: I find that it’s so hard not to keep it to yourself. I keep it under wraps too, because the people I have told look at me like, “Oh, yeah you’re crazy. I can’t be friends with you anymore.” If they only knew.

Jada: I know! I want to talk about it sometimes, but then I remember that most people aren't quite as open minded. I don't think Roughie's issues would be appropriate dinner conversation.

EdwardsBloodType: Oh yeah, well Roughie has issues that regular people (outside of ff ) wouldn't entirely understand or tolerate.

Jada: Or would have had him arrested for already. Lol. I can't wait to get into the meat of all of that. It's hard to keep secrets, damn it!

EdwardsBloodType: Oh you have no idea how bad we want to know WTF is up with him. I can totally keep secrets by the way….

Jada: *crickets*

EdwardsBloodType: Um, okay then! What do you think about the pulling to get published trend?

Jada: I don't really care. To me, the only things that resemble Twilight are the names and locations anyways. Your original words are your own. Do with them what you want. I think people need to get over this whole notion that authors have no right to publish. I know not everyone does. I'm just saying.

EdwardsBloodType: What inspired you to write FYW? How much of your writing is taken from your own experiences? I know you aren’t a poor prostitute struggling through college.

Jada: *smiles* Are you trying to ask me if I've ever taken it hard against a hotel window?

EdwardsBloodType: Um…yes.

Jada: Why, yes. Yes I have.

EdwardsBloodType: *Grins*

Jada: Let's just say that I don't pull these positions out of thin air. I'm very thorough. I feel it would be irresponsible of me not to research them appropriately.

EdwardsBloodType: Ugh, I love the peen between the butt cheeks action, and just so you know, that is the mark of a good writer… thorough research.

Jada: That turned out to be quite the popular chapter. Lol

*silence*

EdwardsBloodType: Um Jada?

Jada: OH! Back to your question....

EdwardsBloodType: So easily distracted by the peen talk! I wonder why that was so popular? You did tweet a gif that depicted the scene and I couldn’t. Stop. Watching. It. So let’s talk FYW. Do you use an outline, is the story fleshed out, or are you writing by the seat of your pants?

Jada: I was really intrigued by the idea of Bella not coming in after Edward's 'dark period' or being his salvation during it. Instead...what if Bella got caught up in the middle of it. What if she was his bad period? Or a large part of it. Oh yes, that gif!!!! UNF. I still have it tucked away. Love it.

EdwardsBloodType: That’s why I love the story. It’s more realistic than anything I’ve read. There’s no relationship fantasies and falling in love after being used and abused or whatever. It is what it is.

Jada: Well, thank you. I try really hard not to romanticize him in it, which is hard to do sometimes, considering how physically attracted to him Isabella is. I write by the seat of my pants although the entirety of the story is planned out.

EdwardsBloodType: But that’s ALL Bella’s attracted to. She isn’t secretly in love with him.

Jada: It's funny you say that. Until recently, I hadn't realized how many people seem to think at least one of them is on love with the other. It's interesting how differently each person interprets the story. I know I'm notorious for keeping my lips zipped, but I can assure you--- no one is in love with anyone. Lol. Well, except Alice & Jasper. And Esme & Carlisle.

EdwardsBloodType: Well here’s the thing. Until I read the outtake, I really thought that in the tradition of quintessential FF, he was in love or whatever with her. I was refreshingly surprised to learn that he truly thought she was just a generic, greedy whore, lol.

Jada: Oh yes. That was another thing I never objected to clarifying-when people asked. There was no love-or even affection- there. He genuinely had nothing but disdain for her. (The outtake is only available in the Tsunami compilation.)

EdwardsBloodType: It’s so different from everything we read. It’s profound, I think, that they are just using one another for carnal needs…and money in Bella's case.

Jada: Exactly. Though it seems most people pick a side. Very few people (that I know of anyway) view it as a mutual utilization between them. I get that his approach is pretty harsh, though.

EdwardsBloodType: On that note, is there a HEA or is that a secret?

Jada: *Cheshire smile* Now, where would the fun be in telling you that?

EdwardsBloodType: *grumbles* I hate you…yet I love you at the same time. It’s quite the conundrum. I’m dying to know if they end up falling in love, or just becoming friends who care for one another, yet I sort of don’t want them to, because in the vein of this story, it would be almost like selling out, no pun intended (Bella’s a prostitute ) get it?

Jada: sigh, I understand. Comes with the territory. Believe me, I've heard some wicked nasty things said about the 'type of person I must be to have written something like this.' lol

EdwardsBloodType: Oh, please. You are just a horny chick that writes an awesome fic.

Jada: I get it. And I know that no matter how it ends, not everyone will be happy about it. But the ending is indeed set in stone. I'll take my chances. And hide out in Yellowglue's cleavage when it all ends.

EdwardsBloodType: I’m sure that’s a great place to lay low, lol.

Jada: Yes, she offered to stow me away. Who am I to refuse?

EdwardsBloodType: She’s a good woman. How many chapters do you have planned, roughly? *snorts*

Jada: I don't, I have no clue. Seat of my pants, remember?

EdwardsBloodType: Here’s one question I never see get asked in interviews- if for some reason you don’t/can’t finish the story, barring that you are dead, will you let everyone know how it was supposed to go, or will it die with you? LovelyBrutal and I WILL hunt it down and find it, you know.

Jada: No. I'd ask someone to finish it. I'd pull them aside and give them the lowdown, then ask them to do me proud.

EdwardsBloodType: Okay, excellent. I hate when a great story just dies with no explanation or ending, especially at the climax.

Jada: I would never take Roughie and Isabella to the grave. They still have shit to settle.

EdwardsBloodType: What type of music is your inspiration?

Jada: All kinds, really. It just depends on the mood of the chapter. 'It's About Time' by Barcelona is the song that I got the title from. It's VERY descriptive of the mood of the story itself. I like a lot of Explosions in the Sky because there aren't any lyrics to distract me.

EdwardsBloodType: This is your first story and it’s phenomenal which is rare for a fic writer. Do you have experience and or background in writing?

Jada: Well, thank you very much. :) And no, I don't have a background in writing, aside from a love of reading and English always being my favorite subject in school.

EdwardsBloodType: Will we ever get an EPOV of after a night with her or of the events that occurred to bring him to his dark place? *begs shamelessly*

Jada: Maybe. I'm not totally sure yet. I did the Tsunami outtake and his PoV (at least back then) is exhausting! lol But I'm not saying no. I have a feeling that a little EPOV later could be essential. :)

EdwardsBloodType: Would you forgive him if you were in Bella's shoes?

Jada: I'm one of those people who believes that begrudging forgiveness is harmful to one's self. On the other hand, forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. I had a much different life than Bella did. In her EXACT shoes, I'm not sure forgiveness would be a concept I entertained. There are so many things she isn't aware of, particularly about herself. She really has no clue just how barren she is. How can she provide something like forgiveness to someone when she doesn't know how to? When it's so difficult for her to even acknowledge that there was any wrong doing in the first place? I hope that made sense and that I don't sound like a huge, overly analytical douche.

EdwardsBloodType: It totally makes sense and I adore your depth and intelligence. How do you feel about the sudden popularity of the story? About people fangirling over you? Spoofing FYW? Threatening to break into your kitchen and steal your FYW notebook?

Jada: I'm still in shock that anyone is reading it, to be honest. I know exactly how intense the subject matter is, so I think it's incredible that there are so many open minds out there. I'm ridiculously grateful to my readers. They are INSANELY supportive and understanding. As far as fangirling is concerned, I do it to other authors mercilessly, but when I find it directed toward me it kinda makes my throat close up. It's awesome to know that people enjoy the story, but I always feel inept at returning the gesture. Like, maybe I should do a striptease or something for them? To validate the actual fangirling? I don't know. lol I had a very good friend of mine (and yours), LovelyBrutal, fic my fic. It’s called 'Fold Your Ears' and it is hilarious! I love it! She's a wizard with words. I don't mind those things at all. It's great! Ah, the FYW Notebook. It does exist, although I'm not sure anyone could decipher the mad ramblings of a perverted Twific author. Seriously, it's so random and strange :)

EdwardsBloodType: Yes, LovelyBrutal, I agree. She fic’ced my fic as well and it was hilarious. Any FYW spoilers you can give us? *gets down on knees and rubs Jada’s leg*

Jada: Spoilers???? I can't drop spoilers, woman! What fun would that be? I can tell you that Charlie is dead. There'll be no beyond-the-grave twists here. I know, riveting stuff, huh?

EdwardsBloodType: sigh. Anything planned after FYW finishes?

Jada: I actually do have 3 other stories that I was writing before FYW, but it spoke louder to me. :) I'll definitely delve into those when FYW is over. I'd also love to tackle an AU story. I may suck so bad at it that I mask it as a crackfic. We'll see.

Random questions:

EdwardsBloodType: What would you do if you saw Rob walking down your street by himself?

Jada: Due to the fact that I still hold out hope of this actually happening, I cannot divulge any details that could possibly incriminate me. But I can say that, if caught, I'd totally cheese in my mugshot.

EdwardsBloodType: Would you ever name your kid after one of the Twilight characters?

Jada: Um...no.

EdwardsBloodType: Do you secretly squee over random Twilight references during the day? Like when you see a silver Volvo or a gray peacoat?

Jada: No, but I'm rendered completely useless anytime I see Rob's face. I put my daughter's Little Swimmer trunks on her with her arms through the leg holes when my husband was flipping through the TV channels and landed on Bad Mother's Handbook. While driving, I sat through the duration of an entire green traffic light when my sister passed me his first Vanity Fair cover in the car.

When standing in Best Buy, I spotted a 72 inch TV that was playing the HBO Water for Elephants Behind the Scenes special.

Security guard: "You should get you one of those."

Me: (never taking my eyes off Robowski) "Amen."

Security guard: ??

Me: "Oh! You meant the TV!"

My husband insists I need some sort of intervention for my obsession. It's deep and it's real. But I could stop anytime I wanted to. No, really. I could.

EdwardsBloodType: Yeah, yeah, that’s what we all say. And finally, in PIC tradition, what would you like to hear as you enter the pearly gates?

Jada: "Although you've lived a life worthy of entry, the circumstances of your demise are questionable." *cue playback of geriatric me furiously jilling it to thoughts of young Rob, thus triggering my massive heart attack* "Please have a seat in the waiting room." :)

Fold Your wings can be found on Jada’s blog: http://jadalulufyw.blogspot.com/2011/04/prologue.html , Twilighted and TWCS library.

She is @JadaPattinson on twitter